Pivot - Pt. 2

Samantha Bauer(00:01.65)
Welcome back everybody to Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And we're so happy you're back with us. Last time we were talking about my favorite word called pivot. And today we're going to dig in a little bit deeper on, I guess, some tools or concepts connected to this whole pivoting idea of major transitions in our lives. So those of us who we all go through changes and transitions,

Christine Goforth(00:06.015)
And I'm Christine.

Samantha Bauer(00:31.776)
But those of us who can pivot, be flexible, be resilient, and make those changes, and just kind of not go with the flow, but be flexible and pivot and be intentional too. We've talked about intentionality. So Christine, last time we were talking about when you become a mother, each stage of that child's life, you really, it's a new transition, right? You go from baby stage and.

Christine Goforth(00:58.232)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(01:00.338)
And you have to change how you mother, how you parent. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(01:04.462)
yes. yeah. In every stage. and it sometimes I remember in the early stages of parenting where you're going along and you're doing something one way, take sleeping, for example, right? I co slept with mine for the first little bit. And then it was like, okay, wait a minute. They're X months old. They don't really need this anymore. I'm like that realization of, wait,

Christine Goforth(01:04.462)
Okay, we're now in a different phase I need to adjust. And so it starts so early, you know?

Samantha Bauer(01:37.782)
Right, yeah. Yes, yeah. Well, and what you just said was so critical that I need to adjust, right? And so what, and we talked about too, what worked in their elementary school years doesn't necessarily, clearly will not work in the middle school and high school years, right? And so I remember many nights sitting on my daughter's bed when she was in middle school with her telling me all the horrible.

Christine Goforth(01:54.592)
No. Right.

Samantha Bauer(02:05.078)
Terrible things that the other girls would say. mean, girls are horrible bullies. mean, boys have their issues too. My son had plenty of issues too. But I remember just sitting on her bed, and instead of trying to be the fixer, like, OK, we're going to do this and da da, and you're going to say this and da da da, I had to learn to listen.

Christine Goforth(02:06.263)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(02:06.263)
horrible at that age. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(02:25.984)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(02:26.868)
because she needed to kind of navigate this on her own. She needed that self-efficacy that, OK, mom, she's not going to come in and fix this. And I don't want mom to come in and fix this. I just need her to just to listen. And that was hard. That was a big transition for me.

Christine Goforth(02:43.99)
Listen.

Christine Goforth(02:48.221)
I will say though that my youngest is very much a verbal processor and every day after school it is, and I would not have it any other way. There are times when she's like, I'm sorry, I know I've been talking so much. And I always tell her, I would way rather you talk to me so much than never tell me anything. I will listen to you till the sun goes down. Like whatever you need to process.

Samantha Bauer(03:01.077)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(03:17.365)
It's very clear that's what's happening. And so it's the rundown of the day and of things that have happened. And, and if, if there's something that's happened and my first instinct is to, okay, well, what did you tell her? And what, you know, what are you going to do tomorrow when you see or whatever it is? And it's like, she's like, no, it's fine. I just need to talk about it. Like you don't need to fix it. Like, okay. Got it.

Samantha Bauer(03:20.639)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(03:25.397)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(03:37.839)
Exactly. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(03:42.536)
Yeah, yeah, and right. Yeah, OK, I'll be quiet. I'm just going to let you talk. But I love that you recognize that she's a verbal processor, right? She just needs to verbalize. And it's not an invitation for you to interject and go, my god, you should say this to her. like, I can't. Right? mean, it's none of that. It's just, again, learning how to be a new mom in that instance.

Christine Goforth(03:53.943)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(04:10.879)
and kind of an observer and a, okay, I'm just gonna listen and let you, you tell me what you need from me. Do you need me to give you advice? Do you need me to just listen? Tell me how I can support you best right now is a phrase that we use a lot.

Samantha Bauer(04:17.738)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(04:30.646)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, and so much of helping them create that self-efficacy is giving them that respect in space.

Christine Goforth(04:41.717)
Mm-hmm. Right. Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(04:42.122)
to navigate, right? And a lot of it is just giving them the confidence that they have it in them to manage the situation or navigate or whatever it is. Because in middle school and high school, everything is super intense. Everything's very dramatic.

Christine Goforth(04:52.214)
Right.

Christine Goforth(05:00.653)
yeah. Yeah. yeah.

Samantha Bauer(05:06.422)
And, you know, especially if your kids play sports, right, or whatever it is. I mean, if they're in a very competitive, right, I mean, you and I have talked about the whole, you know, volleyball stuff and, you know, it's the dynamics on the court and dynamics with parents and dealing with coaches and just all the things because you could totally get sucked into the drama of all of it. But being able to to be self aware.

Christine Goforth(05:06.999)
We're just getting started, but yes. yeah.

Christine Goforth(05:19.031)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(05:36.168)
to not remove yourself, but not be the driver.

Christine Goforth(05:39.823)
Stay out of the fray of We don't need to be in everything. We don't have to have a reaction to everything. There are times when the wise ones keep their mouths shut or don't react.

Samantha Bauer(05:46.939)
Exactly exactly. Yeah. Yeah

Samantha Bauer(05:52.916)
Yes. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(05:57.814)
Exactly. Right. Or to stand in judgment, right? Judging others' actions or what they say. Like, my god, can you believe she said that? And I can't believe she did this. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? And like I would tell my daughter all the time, don't feed the monster. Do not feed that monster. Yep. Yep.

Christine Goforth(06:04.098)
Right. That's the, yeah.

Christine Goforth(06:11.106)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(06:15.458)
Right, the more you talk about it, I've told my youngest last year, if you want something to not be spoken about, stop talking about it, stop feeding into it. And that goes for anybody, anywhere, anytime. If you want the story to die, stop talking about the story. Right, I mean.

Samantha Bauer(06:26.476)
Exactly. Right. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(06:32.008)
Right, don't, yep.

Samantha Bauer(06:32.008)
Yeah, exactly. Right? Yeah. So obviously, being a parent, being a mother, the most important job we've ever done. And it's not for the weak. And so as you are, and again, you're like, Sam, can you please stop talking about how I'm getting ready to launch my birdies? mean, they're not quite ready. OK? They're not there yet.

Christine Goforth(07:00.192)
It's really good preparing, you know, no, however, I will say that I, am one thing I know my strengths and weaknesses. And one thing I'm very good at is looking ahead at people who have done the things before me, my sisters, obvious you included, other just friends that have, that are a little bit older that have gone through things. it's like, okay, you know what?

Samantha Bauer(07:13.867)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(07:20.82)
Right.

Christine Goforth(07:28.576)
It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. And saying like, okay, this is how these are the, these are the things that I want to do. These are the things that I don't want to do because I saw how XYZ turned out. Right. And so I've always been pretty good about kind of really listening to those who I look up to and, listening and believing.

Samantha Bauer(07:30.41)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(07:44.212)
Right, right.

Christine Goforth(07:56.834)
their stories and their, okay, this is how we experienced it. This is what we did. And so this is all really good for me. So as much as it's like, it goes so fast, right? You get into your high school year and everybody told me it goes fast, so fast. And I believed them and wow, it's true.

Samantha Bauer(07:58.656)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(08:02.772)
right.

Samantha Bauer(08:02.772)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(08:02.772)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(08:16.424)
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like I told you the other night when you were sewing a hole in someone's sweater going to a football game because you got a cheerleader, you got to get there and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, just right. mean, just enjoy it. Like, enjoy the moment. It's chaotic and crazy. Yeah, no, it's and I and I and right to be honest, I mean, I miss that.

Christine Goforth(08:24.749)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(08:33.685)
Yeah, it's so chaotic, but it's good chaos. Like I tell them, like.

Christine Goforth(08:45.068)
Right?

Samantha Bauer(08:45.34)
Of course, but also I love my empty nest. And when I was in your position, I was the same way. I was looking at people who were ahead of me in that process and their birdies have been launched. And I really paid attention to how they talked about it, about, wow, wow. They're not sitting at the kitchen table. And I walk by their room and I'm just like.

Christine Goforth(09:05.301)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(09:13.974)
OK, I don't want to be that. That's not what I want to be. Yeah, well, you would hope, right? I mean, if you do your job right, they're going to leave, and they're going to create fabulous lives. And that's exactly what you want. I think.

Christine Goforth(09:16.491)
That sounds miserable because here's the thing, they're gonna leave one way or the other. Do you want to be miserable? Well, yeah, hopefully.

Christine Goforth(09:33.324)
Right.

Christine Goforth(09:33.324)
And you're going to be so sad about it. Come on. OK, sorry. I don't want to be judgy. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(09:38.774)
Yeah, like, it's a choice, It's a choice. Again, it's a choice, right? The mantra, the narrative that you have in your head, it's like, no. So when I started thinking about this whole pivot, because you do have to pivot when your birdies are launched. You even have to start that pivot before your birdies are launched, because I know you shared the story with your friend who said, gee, it would be really nice if I had sought these resources out prior to the birdies launching.

Christine Goforth(10:08.715)
Right, not that it would hurt any less, but she would have been able to navigate it a lot easier, right? And just with the knowledge that it was gonna be okay.

Samantha Bauer(10:08.728)
So you can really... Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(10:08.728)
Exactly. Right. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And so anyhow, so I was on my meditation walk, you know, couple of weeks ago and I started really thinking about this, this word pivot in your pre launch post launch of, your birdies, right? And I hate to use empty nest there. I don't, mean, it's not a bad word, but I'm just like, yeah, yeah. So it's, it's yeah.

Christine Goforth(10:37.409)
We got, well, we need to coin a new term. Like the renters have moved out. Sorry, the, I know the freeloaders moved out. We're freeloader free.

Samantha Bauer(10:43.474)
Yeah, there you go. The renters who don't pay.

Samantha Bauer(10:43.474)
The freeloaders have moved out, the squatters, the squatters are gone. So anyhow, I think this works for.

Samantha Bauer(10:43.474)
you know, people, you know, in your position, you're, you're totally in that prelaunch. You're just, but I encourage you to dig in and enjoy every moment and just love every moment, but prelaunch and postlaunch of your birdies. the P and pivot, stands for purpose. And, know, it's been said that the opposite of hap or the opposite of depression is not happiness. It's purpose. People who have purpose are not depressed.

Samantha Bauer(10:43.474)
Right? They know what they're here to do. And the problem, not a problem, it's a challenge. The challenge in making this transition from being full-time, all the time mom, being the main character in their story, to now being a side character and...

Christine Goforth(11:40.607)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(11:46.996)
you know, them not needing you anymore as much. The relationship changes. So what is your purpose now? Think about that. You're always gonna be a mom, but your role has changed. And so the purpose of your life. So really think about what do you want to be when you grow up? What's your purpose?

Christine Goforth(11:49.282)
Right?

Christine Goforth(11:53.046)
Right?

Christine Goforth(12:10.924)
right?

Samantha Bauer(12:12.222)
Like, what are you going to? And I'll never, ever forget this story. I had quit my full-time, all-the-time, crazy job to stay home with the kids. I became a communications consultant. I should have done it years ago, or thinking that was, again, was driven by fear. I had a beautiful salary. I had beautiful benefits. And my god, I can't quit my job and go out on my own. I was.

Samantha Bauer(12:12.222)
I had never been so busy in my life professionally. had I known it was going to be financially fabulous, I would have done it years in advance. anyhow, I was swirling around the kitchen on a Monday morning, my first time not going into the full-time, all-the-time job. So I wasn't in professional clothes. I was in workout clothes. My hair piled up. And I remember Maddie saying, and she was nine, she said, mommy, what are you going to be now?

Christine Goforth(12:40.013)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(13:05.822)
And I remember stopping in my tracks going like, my god, I'm like panicking right now. I don't know what I'm going to be. I haven't thought about that. I can tell you what I need to do. I know I got a list of to do's to do. But what am I going to be? Because in her mind, right, I'm not this professional anymore.

Christine Goforth(13:13.557)
I actually don't know, right?

Christine Goforth(13:20.086)
right?

Christine Goforth(13:23.575)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(13:27.277)
Mm.

Samantha Bauer(13:29.866)
And years later, I remember her telling me that she missed, like when she got into high school, she goes, mom, I kind of miss seeing you in your heels in the kitchen in the morning. In her mind, I didn't have that sort of important job because I wasn't leaving the house. She had no clue. I mean, my kids to this day still didn't understand communications consulting. Like, what the hell do do, mom? I said, well, I tell people what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. I mean, that's just what I do. Kind of like what I do with you.

Christine Goforth(13:31.103)
Interesting.

Christine Goforth(13:40.941)
wow.

Christine Goforth(13:50.285)
It's the same thing we've been doing with you, but I get paid for it.

Samantha Bauer(13:59.174)
Exactly. So anyhow, so the P in Pivot is purpose. And so the I is innovate. This is the moment in your life where you can create. You can innovate your life. What do you want your life to look like? Now that you've dedicated all those years in developing these incredible young people that are going to go out and do incredible things,

Samantha Bauer(13:59.174)
This is your time. What are you going to create? It's about that innovation. Then, yeah, right? Yeah, and it's so fun to be in this creative space with you, Christine. It's just right, again, talk about high vibes. I mean, I could just do this all day long, but we do have other crap to do.

Christine Goforth(14:33.408)
Looks like we created a podcast.

Christine Goforth(14:41.068)
fun. I love it. Uh-huh. Life gets in the way or work gets in the way of life? Chores get in the way of life?

Samantha Bauer(14:52.808)
Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. We totally one day have to talk about if you give a mom a moment.

Christine Goforth(15:00.62)
Ugh, you, okay, seriously, we do.

Samantha Bauer(15:00.668)
That is brilliant. going to come back to that. OK, so the V in pivot is value. Value yourself, love yourself. This is your time, like I said. And you put those little people, number one, for so many years. And now it's your turn to really value yourself. And I think, Christine, you're obviously in pre-launch mode.

Samantha Bauer(15:00.668)
But you're already doing that. You value yourself by your nightly ritual.

Christine Goforth(15:34.485)
Right. Well, I want my kids to see mom taking care of herself because when they get older and move out and have their own lives, I want them taking care of themselves. And if they don't see that being mirrored for them, they're not going to know what that looks like or how to do it. And it's to the point now where my kids at different points in time will tell me like,

Samantha Bauer(15:47.669)
Right.

Christine Goforth(16:04.608)
Hey, I think you maybe just need to go take a bath or like, Hey, maybe you should go for a walk or whatever it is. You know, I, I, it was a hormonal time the other day and I got out of the car and I just, yeah. Right. I'm like overwhelmed. was the busiest week and I just started tearing up. like, I don't even know why I'm crying right now. And my youngest just comes up and she gives me a big hug. She's like, it's okay. Take a deep breath.

Samantha Bauer(16:07.318)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:11.668)
Yeah. Right.

Samantha Bauer(16:17.014)
yeah, there's that.

Samantha Bauer(16:28.991)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(16:34.186)
Like, it's gonna be okay sometimes stuff like so seeing them.

Samantha Bauer(16:36.406)
Aww.

Christine Goforth(16:43.148)
kind of re regurgitate the things that I've told them and the the all of the lessons and hearing them play it back to me it's like you've been listening this whole time and you like really know and you get it right like yeah

Samantha Bauer(16:46.78)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:55.659)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:55.659)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and also too in this, you valued yourself enough to pursue happiness and freedom from fear. And you've really opened yourself up. So there's value in that. You see value in.

Samantha Bauer(16:55.659)
putting time, the time that is required to make sure that you're living in the lane of joy and gratitude and living the life that not only that you want for yourself, but clearly you want for your children. again, just giving your kids, the biggest gift you can give is your own happiness. then, OK, the O in pivot is opportunity. Seek opportunities for new passions.

Christine Goforth(17:35.776)
brain.

Samantha Bauer(17:51.895)
Um, this is, this is the time of your life where again, you can seek out other opportunities to pursue. Yes. Right. Right. So this is, this is your moment. This is your chance to go and seek opportunity, um, and, and explore, explore possibilities. I mean, if there's, if there's that one thing that you have always wanted to do, like maybe, I don't know.

Christine Goforth(17:58.048)
The world is your oyster. You don't have the ball and chain at home anymore.

Samantha Bauer(18:21.428)
Learn piano or whatever it is. Go do it. Go seek those opportunities out and invest in yourself and seek the opportunity. Because you don't know what you're going to find. You don't know what you don't know. And you don't even know where opportunities sometimes exist. You just obviously need to be in a state of acceptance and be open to it.

Christine Goforth(18:24.575)
Right.

Christine Goforth(18:33.909)
Right. I love it.

Christine Goforth(18:43.645)
and you need to be ready to get out of your comfort zone. Exactly. You're not going to go find new opportunities if you don't go anywhere different.

Samantha Bauer(18:47.582)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(18:51.734)
Right? Well, one of my new opportunities or, know, I, again, I tend to live in extremes. I wanted to learn pickleball, but in my mind, was going to become a pickleball champion. Here's a guy I'm just going to go be a pickleball champion. People are like, why don't you just like play pickleball? It actually like, I had to actually like play it to actually become a champion. Right? So, so anyhow, I've had all kinds of fun, fun with that, but

Christine Goforth(19:12.649)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(19:20.04)
Right, get out of the comfort zone, do new things and just challenge yourself. So seek opportunity. And then the T in pivot is test. Test your limits. Test yourself. And just really, when I say test, I mean challenge yourself. Do the scary shit.

Christine Goforth(19:26.997)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(19:36.683)
stretch yourself.

Christine Goforth(19:42.603)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(19:48.086)
And I think the biggest, best advice that I got from, are a badass. I always bring it up because it was so pivotal, pivotal in my life. Big, big theme was, you gotta do stuff that scares the shit out of you.

Christine Goforth(20:02.252)
It really is a big, big theme. It's a big theme.

Samantha Bauer(20:14.998)
That's what you got to do. So I was like, OK, I'm going to write a book. And I ran for office. I'm going to do stuff. And the podcast, right? That's another example of just scaring the shit out of us initially. we don't really look at us now, right? And so anyhow, so I think that this pivot model helps in any transition of life, but in particular,

Christine Goforth(20:29.632)
Look at us now. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(20:42.992)
As you're transitioning out of that, you know, launching, once you've launched those cute little birdies and they're flying and you know what? Let the birdie fly. Let the birdie fly. It's such a beautiful thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you have. So look at that. I'm sorry.

Christine Goforth(20:52.352)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(20:55.968)
They've earned it and you've earned it. Everyone's put in the work to, yeah. No, you're okay. You're totally good. No, I just, I could go on and on and on and on and on as you know.

Samantha Bauer(21:06.314)
Yes!

Samantha Bauer(21:10.176)
Well, clearly I can. Well, we're so thrilled that you joined us today. And we know you're here for a reason. we're all just hanging out. We're high vibing. And we're just getting all the feels. And because we want to live in a lane of joy and gratitude and attract the life and all the good things in life that are meant for us. And we're learning. And we're just.

Samantha Bauer(21:10.176)
or out here just living in this, right? Yeah, so anyhow, thank you for joining us. This is Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam.

Christine Goforth(21:39.382)
Just doing it.

Christine Goforth(21:46.642)
and I'm Christine. Thank you, bye.

Samantha Bauer(21:48.416)
Thanks for joining us. Bye.