Trying Is Timid

Samantha Bauer(00:02.051)
Welcome back everyone to Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam.

Christine Goforth(00:06.286)
And I'm Christine!

Samantha Bauer(00:07.809)
And if this is your first time joining us, welcome. And if you're coming back, we're so thrilled you're back with us. Christine, it was so much fun going to the movies with you and your sisters and of course your kids and husband. We went to see Scream 7.

Christine Goforth(00:21.193)
Yes?

Christine Goforth(00:26.764)
That was classic.

Samantha Bauer(00:30.191)
I mean, honestly, when was the last time I went to the movies? Like, okay, don't do that really anymore, which is kind of a, I don't know why. Well, I do know why, but it's just too easy to stay on my couch and, you know, and just watch it at home. And then honestly, when was the last time I like watched a scary movie?

Christine Goforth(00:34.01)
Right.

Christine Goforth(00:34.01)
No.

Christine Goforth(00:34.01)
and watch them at home. Yes, I get that.

Christine Goforth(00:51.404)
Right, I know. Well, luckily my kids love scary movies, so we've kept them in the rotation. However, like new ones that I haven't seen, it's been a long time. I don't know how much of it I actually watched, like not peeking through my eyes.

Samantha Bauer(01:08.739)
Right? I know. Well, Paul, your brother was next to me and the whole time he had his hand up. He's never, right? He's never liked scary movies. He doesn't like the jump scares and all of that. But what was so fun about it is it's connected to just a really special memory. I know for all of us, mean, you and your sisters, I mean, 30 years ago, right? The first...

Christine Goforth(01:13.038)
Surprised he didn't bring a pillow.

Christine Goforth(01:13.038)
No.

Christine Goforth(01:30.26)
Mm-hmm, very much so.

Christine Goforth(01:30.26)
Wild. Yep.

Samantha Bauer(01:36.459)
Scream was 30 years ago and so we all we took Paul and I took you and your two sisters to see the original Scream in the theater and I remember how freaked out we all were.

Christine Goforth(01:44.972)
Yep, in the theaters.

Christine Goforth(01:51.328)
It was such a good movie. It was so good and so scary, but it was also so special. It was quite the bonding experience, I will say.

Samantha Bauer(01:57.581)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(02:02.21)
I agree. agree. And then and one of your sisters too. She's like, my God, I totally forgot how much I love scary movies. I had so much fun. Yeah. Yeah. But but okay. So this is me in the middle of the movie. So Sydney Prescott, right? She's the you know, I guess you would call her the heroine of the of the movie. Yeah, now has a teenage daughter. Right? No spoiler alerts. But anyhow, the daughter, you know, has opinions about her how you know,

Christine Goforth(02:08.429)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(02:23.605)
No spoiler alerts, right?

Samantha Bauer(02:31.138)
protective her mom is you know over her and that sort of thing and at one point of the movie she the daughter says Trying is timid and I went my god And I'm fumbling in the in the dark theater for like a pen and I'm on my checkbook as I have no paper in my purse And I'm just like I'm like writing trying is timid because I was Right and it's funny because it's just like

Christine Goforth(02:34.091)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(02:52.205)
With lipstick on a napkin.

Samantha Bauer(02:59.244)
When these things hit you, it's like, my God, I literally was just listening to Try, what is it called? Stop Trying. Stop Trying, a book by Carla Androsik. And her whole point is literally stop trying. It's not about the trying. You're tricking your mind to think that you're actually doing something. Like, well, I tried. I don't know. I tried.

Christine Goforth(03:00.461)
Mm.

Christine Goforth(03:08.593)
uh-huh.

Christine Goforth(03:18.721)
Mm.

Christine Goforth(03:23.649)
Mmm.

Samantha Bauer(03:28.086)
It's half-hardened. You don't fully commit. you really, and so she, her whole book is literally about this word called trying.

Christine Goforth(03:29.729)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(03:40.044)
I was going to say you just something as easy as replacing I'm going to do it and I might fail versus I'll try. Well, because it's, it's again, it's just that small word shift that changes your whole mindset.

Samantha Bauer(03:50.658)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(03:50.658)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(03:59.555)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(03:59.555)
Yes. you know, the whole idea of, I mean, going back, right? I mean, we've heard the, you know, the phrases that, you know, well, you know, if you first, you don't succeed, try, try again, or try it, you might like it. And so we've been conditioned to think, oh, trying's enough. If you just try, then it's okay.

Christine Goforth(04:17.927)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Christine Goforth(04:25.974)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(04:30.018)
but there's so much more.

Samantha Bauer(04:30.018)
to it, and you can hide behind this trying. So, I mean, I think I was talking to you and it's like, here's the difference. well, I tried to get ahold of you and I could, well, okay, if you really tried to get ahold of me, you would have gotten ahold of me. Right? And we've heard this. We've heard this. It's that passive, you know, kind of action, like, okay, I...

Christine Goforth(04:36.023)
Right.

Christine Goforth(04:52.237)
Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(04:58.989)
Mm.

Christine Goforth(05:02.957)
Hmm

Samantha Bauer(05:04.11)
How about what's my favorite? I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to exercise every day. I'm trying to eat better. I'm trying to save money. I'm trying and guess what? You're not doing it.

Christine Goforth(05:16.251)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(05:16.251)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(05:21.814)
And I think that that's a very interesting distinction. The trying mindset really describes a tentative approach. And it takes that personal responsibility out of the thing. And it's like, okay, well, I tried. It didn't work, but I tried.

Christine Goforth(05:35.883)
Right, right.

Christine Goforth(05:43.55)
Mm, yeah.

Christine Goforth(05:48.683)
Like, meh, okay. Very apathetic.

Samantha Bauer(05:50.283)
Yeah, and I'm just, I'm just not going to. Yes, very apathetic. And, and, and I think it's, you know, it's almost like, again, not taking that personal responsibility. It's sort of like, yeah, if I fail, it's not my fault. I tried. I tried. And, so she, she tells the listener or the reader that, you know, write down 10 things that you're trying to do.

Christine Goforth(06:05.643)
Right?

Christine Goforth(06:19.941)
Mm. Sure. Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(06:20.184)
Just write them down, right? And then really look at them and say, okay, am I really trying? Like, what am I doing to actually get at the thing, right? Right.

Christine Goforth(06:28.587)
Right.

Christine Goforth(06:28.587)
action items of what actionable steps have I taken that could be considered trying?

Samantha Bauer(06:39.902)
Right, exactly. And so I think, I think, you know, we hide behind sort of these half-hearted sort of attempts. We're not really living. We're not really living, you know, because we're not going out and doing the thing, right?

Christine Goforth(06:50.886)
Mm-hmm. Sure.

Christine Goforth(06:59.732)
And I think people don't do the thing or it's easier to say, try, because if it doesn't work out, it's, well, I try not, I did it and it didn't work out and I failed. Right? I mean, but the sooner you can be aware of that and say that the sooner you can move through it and go do it again.

Samantha Bauer(07:07.458)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(07:12.972)
Right. Right.

Samantha Bauer(07:23.828)
Exactly. And so like for you Christine, when you were training to run the marathon, you didn't try to train. Because guess what? You would have never run that damn marathon if you just tried. I'm gonna try it. I'm just gonna try it. I'm gonna give myself permission to quit. I'm gonna give my permission to kind of,

Christine Goforth(07:29.088)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(07:29.088)
I didn't try to train. I did train.

Christine Goforth(07:38.708)
Right. Had I just tried. Right. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(07:51.043)
This day I was supposed to run, you know, eight miles and I didn't, you know, and it's sort of like, but you know, last week I ran the five and so, you know, I'm trying, but trying doesn't fully commit you to doing the thing and it gives you permission to, you know, give up and fail before you even really truly commit to doing the thing.

Christine Goforth(07:54.57)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(08:07.318)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(08:14.368)
Right.

Christine Goforth(08:19.574)
Mm-hmm. Well, and it takes it. takes.

Christine Goforth(08:19.574)
It takes discipline, I think, to be able to move through things, move on, do it again. And I...

Christine Goforth(08:19.574)
Sorry, give me one moment.

Christine Goforth(08:19.574)
I lost track, sorry. I was trying to tie it back into what you were saying.

Samantha Bauer(08:48.598)
No, that's just totally fine.

Christine Goforth(08:53.452)
I think that I don't work well with notes. I'm like, sorry, Greg. You go ahead and take it from what you were saying. Sorry.

Samantha Bauer(08:57.964)
Ha ha!

Samantha Bauer(09:05.836)
Okay, No, I think that trying actually creates anxiety in you. It gives you permission to procrastinate. You get a sense of kind of a loss of control in that fear of, again, it's the fear of failure. And so we've talked about fear so much on the podcast.

Christine Goforth(09:15.616)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(09:29.97)
The fear of failure. Yes. Yes. Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(09:35.567)
That is the one thing that holds us back on a lot of everything. Well, not a lot, I everything actually. Everything. And so when you go, okay, well I tried and it didn't work out. Well, guess what? You have to own that failure. You have to learn from it and you have to pivot.

Christine Goforth(09:43.167)
on everything. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(09:54.069)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(09:58.605)
You have to be honest with yourself. And I think that a lot of times people, it's a lot easier to give yourself a half truth. I tried. Than it is to say, you know what? I really wanted this thing to happen. I didn't take the steps to make it happen. And so I am at fault. I didn't do the thing that I was supposed to do. You have to take accountability. You have to be honest with yourself.

Samantha Bauer(10:10.733)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(10:28.598)
Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(10:28.636)
and do the thing, whether it works out or not has nothing to do with whether or not you tried. Right? I mean...

Samantha Bauer(10:35.35)
Right. Yeah. Yeah. No. And I was talking to my husband a couple of nights ago kind of about this concept and, you know, just the distinction between trying and actually doing. And then he, you know, threw my own words back into my face and he goes, okay, so what's the relationship to being? And it stopped me and I was like, okay, I love that because we've talked about this before, right? You know, do, do, do, we know how to do, do, do.

Christine Goforth(10:58.697)
wait. Uh-huh.

Samantha Bauer(11:04.322)
And sometimes we hide behind try try try try and we're not aligning ourselves with who we who we are like be be who you are like harness that and realize like no this is who I am. This is my self-efficacy. This is this is how I see myself in the world. And so whether I fail or not has nothing to do with how I actually see myself and how I want to portray myself, you know to the world and so anyhow, it's really

Christine Goforth(11:12.116)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(11:15.787)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(11:33.667)
Him saying that kind of it stopped me in my tracks because yeah, I definitely need to think about that because if you think about it, trying is like a it's a mask. It doesn't it hides the true you because you don't fully commit. You don't fully commit and go, okay, I'm going after this, right? I'm going to do the damn thing and and again.

Christine Goforth(11:36.342)
like, hold on, I need to think about that for a second.

Christine Goforth(11:46.528)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(11:51.446)
Right.

Christine Goforth(11:57.076)
I'm gonna do it. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(12:01.716)
Obviously it takes it takes courage it takes like you said discipline and You know and again, it's about building that muscle of Your failure must muscle you you yes Yeah

Christine Goforth(12:14.503)
Resilient. You have to be resilient because the quicker you try or IE do the thing and fail or not fail, maybe you succeed and that's fantastic. But if you do the thing and you fail, the faster you can move through it, not necessarily get over it. I think it's important. There's a distinction of things that get over and things that you need to move through and

Samantha Bauer(12:36.93)
Right.

Christine Goforth(12:44.511)
The sooner that you can address the feeling, move through whatever it is, get to the other side of it and go after the thing that you want again, do it again. And it's just, like you said, you got to build that muscle of resilience.

Samantha Bauer(12:56.524)
Right. Right.

Samantha Bauer(13:04.076)
Yep. Well, and I love when you said, you know, this is how really and truly a word like completely impacts your mindset. The word try, you know, as Carla was saying in her book, it actually creates confusion in the brain. The brain doesn't know what to do with try. It really and truly doesn't. And so it's like, OK, are you doing this damn thing or are not?

Christine Goforth(13:14.4)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(13:24.383)
Hmm. Right, right.

Samantha Bauer(13:32.463)
Are you in are you out like what the hell like well? don't know what we're doing here We're kind of faking shit because we don't want to fully commit because guess why we don't want to fail and so it's like okay No, I tried it. I'm not gonna take personal responsibility because you know I just you know again it just didn't It just didn't work out and so I think the other thing that kind of comes to mind to Christine is you know going back to you know your awakening on

Christine Goforth(13:32.903)
Right, right, right. Are you in or out?

Christine Goforth(13:32.903)
Hahaha!

Christine Goforth(13:48.989)
It just didn't work out. It just didn't. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:01.534)
Shifting your mindset and literally changing your thoughts changing your life. I Know you I mean you said to me you're like I Want your mindset? I just don't know how to get there and I know that you tried Right. I mean you you you listen to podcasts you sought out resources. So maybe talk a little bit about that like what

Christine Goforth(14:03.115)
Mm.

Christine Goforth(14:12.491)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(14:18.28)
Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:28.256)
What did that trying look like for you and how did it not get you where you needed to be?

Christine Goforth(14:33.789)
Well, I mean, yeah, like you're saying, I think in the past I had tried and I think it's a matter of

Christine Goforth(14:33.789)
Not, I don't know if it's not wanting it enough or just not being ready to, to really take the steps to do the work because it is work. It's not, it's not hard work, but it is work that you have to be very, very aware of. And I think that, now that my kids are older, there's

Samantha Bauer(14:51.564)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:58.626)
Yeah. Or,

Samantha Bauer(14:58.626)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:58.626)
Right.

Christine Goforth(15:13.583)
maybe more space for me to be aware of things and kind of and being aware of how my thought process was affecting them or my how I lived in fear, how that was kind of coming out in them. And so being aware of that and saying, that is not what I want.

Samantha Bauer(15:29.484)
Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(15:37.134)
Sure.

Christine Goforth(15:43.015)
And I'm going to do it for myself so that I can also do it for them. And that, think, I think until I saw that it was affecting how my kids were thinking or, know, then it was kind of a wake up call to like, no, I actually do need to do the work to figure out I can not live like this for the next however long.

Samantha Bauer(15:59.449)
Sure, sure.

Samantha Bauer(16:10.626)
Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(16:12.587)
You know, 50, 60 years, God willing. But I just, yeah, I think, I think it's so easy to fall off of the habits when you're not committed. And I wasn't committed. I think I was committed for a period of time, but then it's like life happens and you get distracted and it becomes less important. And then it's just, you and I have talked about how even now as far as

Samantha Bauer(16:31.95)
Bye!

Christine Goforth(16:41.757)
we are into kind of our mindset shift. And even we have days where it's like, okay, I gotta reach back into my tool belt and like harness these tools in a way that, you know, I haven't had to in a long time. But yeah, I just, think that that's, yeah, right.

Samantha Bauer(16:51.277)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:55.852)
Right? Exactly. Yeah. And belief too, Christine. think maybe it was like, you, you know, you questioned or didn't have the belief that you had the power in you. Like, I mean, you know you could do the thing and... Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(17:15.133)
Right.

Christine Goforth(17:15.133)
Like, okay, I'll journal, I'll take my breaths, I'll do the meditation, I'll, you know, whatever it is. Like, okay. I also think there's definitely a piece of it that is like, it's not happening very fast. You know, and the consistency. So it's just like, you have to be ready. You have to be consistent. You have to be aware. And you have to believe that you deserve it.

Samantha Bauer(17:47.929)
consistency over intensity. How many times have this just like popped up like on my feed and like, and now you just saying that consistent word really and truly. I mean, you could go out there and like run like a crazy person and run a really like long way like once.

Christine Goforth(17:55.453)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(18:09.026)
Kind of kill yourself and that's very intense or you can be consistent and you can train over time And get your body where it needs to be for the highest, performance and so, know for somebody like me who I mean intense is my middle name That's all I know

Christine Goforth(18:19.71)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(18:27.272)
Right. And if intense is your middle name, chill is mine. we.

Samantha Bauer(18:32.974)
Right, which I love right I mean it's what makes this all just work and also the message is for People who approach life a little bit different this has such a huge impact and you know and really slowing your thoughts and paying attention to how you're talking to yourself how you're positioning yourself and like I said with that

Christine Goforth(18:39.176)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(18:48.575)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(19:00.504)
Trying is timid, know, the teenage girl yelling at her mom because, you know, Sidney's Prescott had every reason to protect her daughter for God's sakes. mean, she was, you know, terrified, like traumatized and horrified and my God, everything she went through.

Christine Goforth(19:08.81)
Absolutely. I know.

Christine Goforth(19:17.61)
That's really, really bad luck.

Samantha Bauer(19:22.87)
But honestly, you know in that exchange is it's like We've all felt it like, you know, we want to protect our kids and we want to make sure they're taken care of but we know in the end We're weakening them Because they need that angst they need those challenges. They need to see themselves through it and and and so anyhow, so I I thought it was very

Christine Goforth(19:30.804)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(19:35.103)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(19:49.559)
It was very impactful to me on the power of the simple word try. And I'm just replacing it. I'm not going to try to do something. I'm going to do it, right? Just do it, right? And so there's, you know, there's all of that. so anyhow, I think.

Christine Goforth(19:55.889)
Mm-hmm and just replacing it. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(19:55.889)
bright.

Samantha Bauer(20:10.412)
that we have been conditioned because of all the phrases out there about, know, if it's first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Like just try it again. You know, you'll probably, you know, not succeed or whatever. Right. Well, okay. But you know, you're not going to take, you're not going to take personal responsibility because, you know, it's not, it's not your fault. I mean, you tried, you know, so, and I think what I love the most and we're going to talk about this next time is that you and I are so different, clearly.

Christine Goforth(20:17.306)
No. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(20:29.202)
You probably will fail again, but you know, it's like it's a 50-50 chance.

Christine Goforth(20:39.922)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. You probably will fail again, but you know, it's like it's a 50-50 chance.

Samantha Bauer(20:39.982)
We approach things different in our lives. We think about things differently. mean, just our personalities are different. But I just love how we can come together on so many of these concepts and how it really is making an impact.

Christine Goforth(20:46.43)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(20:56.198)
Absolutely. I love it. truly, these conversations that we get to have are just enlightening. I feel like we're doing good. I feel like all of it, it just makes me very happy.

Samantha Bauer(21:07.244)
Yes, yes, I know. I mean, obviously, it's just it's such a blessing to do this with you. But also just, you know, bring it along our community and learning together and getting the feedback and just really and truly just having the conversation because we don't have all the answers clearly, but we're talking about it.

Christine Goforth(21:16.551)
I love it.

Christine Goforth(21:23.348)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(21:28.092)
Heck yeah! Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(21:28.14)
and we're putting it into action. And it's making a huge impact on our lives. So here we are again, it's time to say goodbye. Until next time, right? So thanks so much for joining us on Sisters in Law of Attraction. I'm Sam and we'll see you next time. Bye.

Christine Goforth(21:38.836)
Too fast.

Christine Goforth(21:45.137)
And I'm Christine.