Our Gatekeeper, Fear

Samantha Bauer(00:01.335)
Welcome back everyone to the Sisters in Law of Attraction podcast. I'm Sam. And I'm Christine. And we're so thrilled you're back with us. Last time we were talking about taking the whole pie of life, eat that whole damn pie. And there's one thing that always holds us back, and that is fear. And fear stands in way of us taking action. So today, we're going to dig a little deeper into this whole fear thing. And Christine.

Christine Goforth(00:07.658)
and I'm Christine.

Samantha Bauer(00:30.753)
Take it away.

Christine Goforth(00:31.882)
Yes, hello. So I am going to open this episode up with a quote that I heard listening to a speaker named Eddie Panero. And he has a podcast himself. He is very empowering. And he opened it up with, or excuse me, he, he, yeah, no, I.

Christine Goforth(00:31.882)
Okay, we're gonna start over.

Samantha Bauer(01:07.615)
Okay. Do you want me to do, I can redo the intro.

Christine Goforth(01:08.096)
Okay, sorry.

Christine Goforth(01:13.015)
I'm so sorry.

Samantha Bauer(01:14.047)
No, yeah, you're totally, totally fine. And I can, I can, that might've been too wide of a, of a handoff. Yeah. Okay.

Christine Goforth(01:19.894)
No, you were perfect. You're totally perfect. I couldn't get my words out. I was making it sound like a quote from Eddie Panero, and it's not.

Samantha Bauer(01:27.511)
Okay. All right. Here we go. okay. Welcome back everyone. Thank you for coming back to sisters in law of attraction. I'm Sam and we're thrilled you're with us on this journey. last time we kind of dug into this idea of that there's, there's three main things that you need, in order to make, the real life you want to lead. And you've got to

Christine Goforth(01:39.072)
And I'm Christine.

Samantha Bauer(01:55.935)
Number one, you got to feel good, right? You got to be high vibe. You got to be aligned with, with the universe. Number two, you got to have vision. You got to have clarity around what you want. Too many of us focus on what we don't want. And then the third one is action. You just got to do shit. You got to take action. You don't have to have the whole roadmap figured out in the end though, and the, and the how, but, but you got to take action. And the one major thing that stands in the way of action. Yep. What is it? Christine.

Christine Goforth(02:02.752)
everywhere what you want.

Christine Goforth(02:24.034)
It is fear. It is fear.

Samantha Bauer(02:27.366)
Exactly. today we are going to dig more into this idea of fear, how it holds us back, and how we can tell it to take a suck it sandwich as Jen Shintera tells us, and you are a badass.

Christine Goforth(02:40.438)
Yes. Yes. So, you know, one of the things that spoke to me so much was a quote that is from Joseph Campbell. And I came across it listening to a motivational speaker named Eddie Pinero. And when I heard this quote, I stopped, I got my phone out, I text messaged it to myself.

Christine Goforth(02:40.438)
Because it was such a realization of, wow, I am in control. I can be in control. And the quote is a little bit lengthy. So I'll go ahead and say it now. And then we can dive into a couple themes that come from this quote. And it goes like this. The cave you defeat.

Christine Goforth(03:51.18)
And the quote goes like this, the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. Why? Because to face the dancing shadows is to gain power over them. It shows our mind that reality is far less scary than our perception of reality. That no chain or lock or wall can be more debilitating than the mental constraints we create by ourselves.

Samantha Bauer(03:59.627)
face the dancing shadow.

Christine Goforth(04:20.842)
in our heads. It shows that the man guarding the door can just as easily be the one who unlocks it. And that last part sent chills up my spine through my whole body.

Samantha Bauer(04:30.102)
I love it. Yeah, no, I love it. The cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. Holy shit.

Christine Goforth(04:43.594)
Right? Right? And realizing that I am the one keeping me from greatness and from the thing that I want, whatever that thing is, whether it's a type of life or a material object or whatever it is, that I am the one holding me back. And also I am the one who can unlock that gate and let me through.

Christine Goforth(04:43.594)
and let me in to go see and find and do and experience.

Samantha Bauer(05:10.869)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(05:15.158)
Right. And this concept really kind of rings true to me. Most of my professional career has been writing for others, right? I've told people what to say, how to say it, and when to say it my whole career. And I had the opportunity to write a book and it scared the crap out of me. Why? Because I was finally going public with my own words and that scared the crap out of me. Right.

Samantha Bauer(05:15.158)
but I didn't realize the treasure that was waiting for me and face and facing that fear. and fear is so it's such a construct, right? I mean, we, we create and we give it so much power and in our own minds. And I think that the quote kind of, you know, hits on, on that concept that we construct this false reality in our head.

Christine Goforth(05:46.818)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(05:46.818)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(05:58.964)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(06:13.666)
that's so much worse than actuality, right? The narrative that we tell ourselves is so often not reflective of what's actually happening.

Samantha Bauer(06:27.274)
And that shows the power of your thoughts, right? If you can just tweak your thoughts, you can create your own reality. And when I realized this, when I finally gave up this incessant need to control everything and just let go, and because at the end of the day, control is about fear. Why am I trying to control this situation? Why am I trying to control the outcome of here? Right? Because I'm fearful.

Samantha Bauer(06:27.274)
I'm fearful that the outcome that I want is not accessible to me. So it's releasing that control, having faith, and being open and just being open to something new in your life.

Christine Goforth(07:06.38)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(07:15.224)
Right. Right, absolutely. And realizing that there are so many opportunities out there and if it didn't matter to you, you wouldn't fear trying it. Right? Like we don't... If it's not valuable to you, then you don't really care whether or not it works out.

Samantha Bauer(07:39.253)
Right.

Christine Goforth(07:39.282)
And so if something you, if there is something that you hold valuable that you want to go after, that means you care. You want it. So why not try for it? And that is, and I think that the fear tricks us into, into feeling that we're comfortable that like,

Samantha Bauer(07:51.904)
Right, right. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(08:06.964)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(08:08.778)
It's, we love it, right? Comfort zones are my best, were my best friend, right? It's, it's safety, it's security, it's, okay, I know all of this and so, so I can't get hurt again, right? But also all of my traumas happened as I was waiting for the next shoe to drop. So it's not like living like that. It didn't stop bad things from happening.

Samantha Bauer(08:14.622)
Yeah, right.

Samantha Bauer(08:26.666)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(08:31.126)
I'll see you week.

Samantha Bauer(08:35.7)
It didn't stop that things from happening. Right. Right. Yeah. it did was steal my joy in between them. Exactly.

Christine Goforth(08:38.304)
Right? All it did was steal my joy in between them. And, and, and I manifested more negative thoughts and more, you know, and it, it's, truly is wild being on this side of it. And, and I have a journey to go. it's a lifelong journey for sure.

Samantha Bauer(08:50.068)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(08:59.839)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(08:59.839)
Well, and it's a practice, right? It's a discipline. Because again, it's easy to feel good when you feel good. And when bad things happen, negative things happen to all of our lives. But it's how you think about the situation. It's how you react to the situation. That's really what you're in control of. And it's your thoughts about it. I'd always, for long time, know,

Christine Goforth(09:05.954)
It is.

Christine Goforth(09:25.998)
Great.

Samantha Bauer(09:29.138)
Obviously, you know, I was a brilliant mother, by the way, right? I mean, I just, had all the answers, right? Telling the kids, just change the tape in your head, right? Change the tape, right? Turn the page, right? Change that tape and, and, changing those thoughts out of, you know, the fear based control based mindset. that's the work, right? That's the work.

Christine Goforth(09:36.782)
Yeah, we're in the page.

Christine Goforth(09:53.731)
Yes, yes, that is absolutely the work. And I, I am not terribly religious, but I am very spiritual. And I, I was telling you and another girlfriend, like I feel like I go to my resources, whether it's books or podcasts or 21 day challenges or meditations or whatever it is.

Samantha Bauer(10:19.446)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(10:22.654)
I go to those like I think religious people would go to their Bible. And it's okay. So you know what? I need a reminder from somebody who knows more than me at this time that it is all going to be okay. I just have to lean into the faith and the faith of trusting that it is all going to work out. It's never not worked out. I'm still alive. I have an amazing husband, two amazing children. Like we're...

Samantha Bauer(10:27.53)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(10:38.25)
Yeah. Right.

Samantha Bauer(10:45.428)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(10:51.636)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(10:52.512)
It's always worked out, maybe not how we thought it would, but that's not for us to control, right?

Samantha Bauer(10:59.69)
Well, isn't it amazing when you give up control to on how quickly you can, you, you pivot because sometimes we're focused on the wrong thing. We're so focused on, you know, this, this, this one, this one, you know, breakthrough that we need in our life or whatever, or thing that we want, whatever it is, whether it's an opportunity or something materialistic or whatever it is, we're so focused on it that when it doesn't come to pass, we get pissed.

Christine Goforth(11:28.578)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(11:29.298)
And then we keep on banging our head against the wall until we get it. But instead of just taking a deep breath and saying, you know what, maybe this isn't meant for me. And then pivoting and turning your head and looking at all the other paths there are out there. Maybe that just wasn't, wasn't your path, you know, and having trust in that and having it's, it's like, for me, you know, I've, I've gone in and out of, of this work, if you will.

Christine Goforth(11:45.27)
Right, right, realizing that, right.

Samantha Bauer(11:59.147)
You know, I started to living, I started living it more big more than 10 years ago, because, know, life was just kind of met and I was trying to control everything and I just wasn't happy. so that's why I, when I started this journey, but I think the turning point quite frankly, and I hate to even bring up this horrible word, but I'm going to, because it's really reveals the power of fear.

Christine Goforth(12:15.244)
I think that's pretty.

Samantha Bauer(12:29.142)
in my own life when I didn't think I was fearful and that was during COVID. And I'm just going to say it, and we don't have to live in this space for too long, but I'm just going to say that period of my time, it just pissed me off. It just, it pissed me off on a lot of it, mostly because my oldest daughter was a 2020 grad and everything got taken away from her. didn't have a high school graduation. No, you know, senior prom, blah, blah, blah. It all got taken away from her. And I was just like pissed at the world.

Christine Goforth(12:33.838)
Mm.

Samantha Bauer(12:58.044)
And I remember just being angry and my family's telling me, mom, and my husband, Sam, like, chill out. Like, we're good. The kids were like, my God, they were living their life, right? mean, Max was a freshman in high school and he's, you know, riding his bike all over town and living his life and going to cabins with their friends. I did hold school in this house. had, you know,

Christine Goforth(12:58.478)
You never just feel angry.

Christine Goforth(13:15.374)
sorry, my voice is out.

Samantha Bauer(13:23.19)
PE class in the backyard. mean, we had math class at the dining room table. I mean, I had kids everywhere. cause I knew it was so important to these kids were still engaged socially. so, so I decided, okay, I, I gotta stop being pissed. Cause you know, I guess I got to be stopped. So I literally sat in the corner and I'm like, okay, I, I'm just not gonna be pissed anymore. And then I just got sad and I went, Ooh, I don't like this.

Christine Goforth(13:23.256)
He's watching the back door.

Christine Goforth(13:31.478)
Absolutely.

Christine Goforth(13:47.63)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(13:52.659)
And what I realized in the continuum of emotion, right? On one end is pure joy and the other end is pure desperation and then there's everything in between. My happiness set point, perhaps it's a little higher or lower than others, whatever it is, but I realized that the lowest point that I would get on that continuum was fear. I mean, excuse me, was anger. And then when I gave up that anger, right?

Christine Goforth(13:58.381)
The other end of your desperation when there's everything.

Christine Goforth(14:05.794)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:22.556)
even further into the dark side and I got sad and I did not like that at all but I did realize that anger really and truly is a form of fear.

Christine Goforth(14:34.126)
Mm-hmm. Absolutely. And lack of control. Well, all, all, right, they'll call it whatever time period it is, but the bottom line is that you didn't have control. And so that not only did you not have control, but it's affecting your most loved beings in a negative way. And, and, and, and.

Samantha Bauer(14:36.042)
So anyhow, we'll be done with our whole COVID conversation. Blah.

Samantha Bauer(14:49.456)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(15:00.542)
Right. Right. And it, and it brought me to this. And I think it's, it, it, it, it's one of the tools, Christine, that I know that you, you feel strongly about, and that's the journaling piece. And for, know, for, for years, you know, you hear about, you know, right. What you're grateful for, right. Okay. You know, if you're, if you're in the line of gratitude, like you can't be fearful if you're grateful.

Christine Goforth(15:23.95)
Right, right.

Samantha Bauer(15:25.418)
Those two don't exist together, right? And so, so it was during that time, soon after, like, you know, after being pissed and angry and sad and pissed and angry and sad, like the whole thing, I was like, I don't like this. I don't like me. This isn't fun. Well, I can't control the outside world. I sure as hell can control how I think about this. So that's when I started my gratitude journal. Every morning I get up.

Christine Goforth(15:36.27)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(15:52.641)
Thankfully, my husband does an early morning bootcamp. So he's out of the house. He's an attorney. So he talks to people all day and he is a little talker man. First thing in the morning, he just wants it. Chat, chat, chat, chat. I don't want to be talked to in the morning. I want my quiet time. And so anyhow, so he's gone to his bootcamp. I get up, I sit in what I call my little morning chair. you know, light my candle. put on my little music and I sit down and literally write, I am grateful for 10 times. Fill in the blank.

Christine Goforth(15:52.654)
Thanks for

Christine Goforth(16:01.678)
Thank

Christine Goforth(16:13.878)
I'm releasing, I spit it out, and it's literally right.

Christine Goforth(16:20.994)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(16:22.71)
And I gotta tell you, I was blown away at the impact of that. I, for years, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm grateful, know, whatever, you know. But that physical, intentional act, absolutely, right? And it's just, gets you right back to the core and sets the tone, blah, blah, blah. So,

Christine Goforth(16:28.502)
I

Christine Goforth(16:34.862)
physical, intentional pen to

Samantha Bauer(16:47.798)
I know that you've got some thoughts on the journaling too. That's just one way that it really, really, and to this day, I've been doing it for four years now. Every single morning, I am grateful for, 10 times.

Christine Goforth(16:57.442)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(17:02.43)
And it just sets up your day to be in that mindset of gratitude, of looking for the things to celebrate, even if it's small. It is so easy to get bogged down by stuff that goes wrong. It is a lot harder of a practice and, and not that's why you journal. And that's why it is called a practice because you do, it's a muscle you have to work out every day. And

Samantha Bauer(17:25.238)
Exactly.

Christine Goforth(17:30.614)
it'll come very naturally at some points and at other points it will be work and that's okay because it's worth it. Just because it's, it might be hard work, but it is also worth it because on the other side of it is not living in a constant state of fear. Not living like.

Samantha Bauer(17:44.459)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(17:51.296)
Fair. Yep. Yep.

Christine Goforth(17:58.541)
The thing that you want is not attainable to you, right? I mean, just dropping that fear is so huge. And realizing that worrying about things that haven't even happened, you're worrying about something twice. You're worshiping a problem that maybe doesn't even exist.

Samantha Bauer(18:02.805)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(18:16.299)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(18:23.946)
Right. And you live in resistance, right, to what God, universe, or whatever wants for you. God, universe, source power, whatever you want to call it, wants you happy and wants you to live the life you're supposed to lead. And you are standing in the way of it. You live in resistance when you're in fear. it's the whole self-sabotage and limitation. Growing up, I always thought,

Christine Goforth(18:26.722)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(18:33.421)
Right.

Christine Goforth(18:48.312)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(18:52.736)
classic codependent behavior, as long as I can be perfect and take care of everyone around me, everything was going to be okay. And part of that is, was my job to worry about every potential outcome, right? In obsessing about, and it's a little bit like your experience too, Christine, is when is, okay, when's the next bad shit going to happen?

Christine Goforth(18:57.902)
perfect.

Christine Goforth(19:05.614)
you

Christine Goforth(19:05.614)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(19:17.034)
Right? Cause all that bad shit just happened. So clearly I'm just, like you said, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna put my yummies on and I'm going to get on the couch and I'm going to love on my girls and I'm going to be with my husband. Cause this is all that, this is the only thing that I know can bring me comfort and joy because you better. Yep.

Christine Goforth(19:31.83)
and safety, that feeling of security. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(19:38.196)
Because because you got a brace, right? You got it. You got a brace for the next bad shit that's going to happen. and so we've, and we've talked about this before, right? We have to retrain our brains. have to unlearn things, you know,

Christine Goforth(19:48.431)
And that is, that's the easiest thing to say to do and the hardest thing to actually do. Although exactly, although the steps are quite literally just don't do it. Right? Like I just stop. okay. Well, but awareness that that number one step in my mind.

Samantha Bauer(19:56.695)
It's so simple but so hard, right?

Samantha Bauer(20:04.555)
Hahaha

Samantha Bauer(20:10.261)
yeah, yeah, it's so easy.

Christine Goforth(20:17.656)
for any change at all, every single time is awareness of your thoughts. Being aware of the story you're telling yourself, being aware of the thoughts that you're having and quite literally speaking them out loud, realizing that it needs to be tweaked and then saying it out loud again, but differently. And that is truly the first step. And again,

Samantha Bauer(20:24.135)
Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(20:42.101)
Right.

Christine Goforth(20:46.728)
people might look at you like you're silly or whatever. But I say laugh all you want. My mindset is so much better than it was even four months ago.

Samantha Bauer(20:57.416)
And in the right, the impact in such a short period of time is so significant, right? I mean, just like right.

Christine Goforth(21:08.472)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(21:09.074)
Life is, life is more fun. Life is more meaningful and more impactful. And we can just unshackle ourselves from all of that fear that is holding us back in, in, the life that, that, that we were meant to lead. So I think, we should, we should just, you know, tell our listeners what they should think about. and then before we come back to you next week and that's, what cave are you avoiding?

Christine Goforth(21:20.962)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(21:26.414)
So we should just, you

Christine Goforth(21:38.606)
All right.

Samantha Bauer(21:39.134)
and what treasure might you find. Really spend some time with this because it will be very illustrative of the fears that have been holding you back.

Christine Goforth(21:49.204)
Absolutely. And I think once again, you know, creating something with UCM and putting myself out there is something that I never thought that I would do ever. And so it's very much if someone like me can do this, then I think that anybody who wants to change their mindset can't.

Samantha Bauer(22:02.58)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(22:18.507)
Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(22:18.61)
Absolutely. Every, everyone, everyone has the ability to do it. And, and, that's why we've created the path, the podcast. And, we're so happy that you're here with us. we are a community of, of people that, want to just, you know, show up with joy and gratitude and just live the life, that, that we all want. Right. And so we're thrilled you're with us and, that's all, that's all the time we have today. And we're so looking forward to, to welcome you back next time.

Christine Goforth(22:25.783)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(22:43.534)
Can't wait to dive into more. And I'm Christine.

Samantha Bauer(22:47.862)
I'm Sam. And I'm Christine. And this is Sisters-in-Law of Attraction.