Deep Dive Into Fear

Samantha Bauer(00:01.559)
Welcome back everybody to Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And I'm Vivi. And we're so thrilled you're back with us. You know, we talk a lot about resistance and why you're not connected to the universe and you're not high vibey, you're not able to accept. What honestly God, universe, whatever you want to call it, wants to give you. God, universe, wants good things for you and wants you to be happy.

Christine Goforth(00:05.627)
And I'm Christine.

Samantha Bauer(00:30.655)
Most of us live in a state of fear without even realizing it. And today, Christine, I think we just do a deeper dive into this thing called fear because quite honestly, it's the one thing that stands in our way of living the life that we were meant to live and accepting and being open to the good things that are meant for us. And we just got to get out of our way.

Christine Goforth(00:56.94)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(00:59.529)
So last time Christine, we talked about the quote from Joseph Campbell. Yes. And I don't know, you could probably remember it better than me, but it was about the cave, right?

Christine Goforth(01:07.094)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(01:07.094)
Yes, the cave, unlocking the cave and the fact that the person who has locked the cave is also the person who can unlock it. Meaning that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to fearing things, waiting for the other shoe to drop. That is no way to live. That is living in fear and you don't have to do it.

Samantha Bauer(01:34.933)
Yeah. And this concept of the cave that you fear actually has the treasure. Yeah. And so it's, know, and again, it's all about rewiring that brain because bad things are going to happen, right? But how do you respond to it?

Christine Goforth(01:44.396)
the treasure you seek. Yep.

Samantha Bauer(01:58.367)
really matters and really you can't, there's a whole lot we can't control in this life and again control is a form of fear. I learned this long, long ago. I just figured if I controlled everything in life then I would be prepared and all of this and it was the moment that I gave up control is when I started being open to accepting the good that I was meant for.

Christine Goforth(02:06.85)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(02:06.85)
yeah.

Samantha Bauer(02:26.551)
And it also allowed me to act because most of the time we don't take action because we're fearful, right? We're afraid of failing or we're afraid of people judging us or, right.

Christine Goforth(02:29.581)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(02:34.239)
Exactly.

Christine Goforth(02:39.412)
We don't know what we're doing. Imposter syndrome. We don't want to look stupid.

Samantha Bauer(02:44.977)
Right. Exactly. so I, I feel like, like all my stories are kind of related to like doctor's appointments and really I'm, I am quite healthy. So I, but, but this honestly did happen. I was, know, getting a checkup, several months ago and, and I started talking to the medical assistant and, again, I have no idea how, how it came up, but you know, I was feeling good to that day and you know,

Samantha Bauer(02:44.977)
Blood work came back great. And I'm like, you know, I'm just, I'm living my life. I'm just doing, I'm doing me and feeling good. La la la. And, uh, so anyhow, so I, again, I don't know how it came up, but the medical assistant shared with me, he says, you know, my wife just, you know, lost her job and they, know, she worked for, for a local hospital and they, you know, were, making cuts and, and, um, but you know, she got a severance and you know, it's not, you know, we're not going to retire on the severance, but you know, it's giving, giving her.

Samantha Bauer(02:44.977)
a chance to take her time in finding something, but he said, she's just so panicked. And she keeps on applying to all these jobs and nothing's coming through and she's just panicked. he says, I just don't know what to do for her because she's just absolutely beside herself. And then he also did share, their youngest son had some medical trauma early on in his life.

Christine Goforth(03:51.052)
Yeah. I get that.

Christine Goforth(04:00.109)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(04:12.733)
in and out of the hospital. And so that just added to her fear of not being able to pay for his medical attention and all of this. And I said to him, I said, what if instead of her looking at this with a sense of fear, what if she just changed her thought a little bit to say, you know what, I'm going to view this as a gift of time?

Christine Goforth(04:18.21)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(04:39.04)
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Samantha Bauer(04:43.31)
So this bad thing that happened really was an opportunity. And he looked at me, he says, oh my God, he goes, yes, that's exactly right. Oh my God, I guess I can't wait to talk to her. He says, you're exactly right. I said, well, I mean, it's not like, you you're gonna tell her like, hey, you know, don't be afraid and everything's gonna be fine and look at this as a gift. And she's gonna look at you and go like, what the heck, right? But help her.

Christine Goforth(04:47.918)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(05:04.657)
huh.

Samantha Bauer(05:10.547)
try to look at it in a different way. Exactly. No, no. And just try it on for size. know, like, suspend the, my god, I have to find a job. Why is no one hiring me? If I don't get a job by next week, we're going to be in financial ruin. Like, what if you just suspended those thoughts for a moment?

Christine Goforth(05:14.318)
shift that mindset, yes. And it's not easy.

Samantha Bauer(05:39.369)
And you said, I've been given the gift of time with a severance. I've been given a two month severance. It's a gift of time. I'm going to spend time with my, my son. I'm going to spend time really reflecting on what my next move should look like instead of, you know, she was constantly applying for, you know, similar jobs that she was in. so anyhow, that is just a, you know, another example of.

Christine Goforth(05:45.55)
That's amazing. Yep.

Christine Goforth(06:03.256)
sure.

Samantha Bauer(06:09.489)
You can suspend fear by just changing your mindset and looking at it, literally just turning the thought upside down.

Christine Goforth(06:21.922)
Yeah, absolutely. And again, easier said than done, right? But it is a practice, it's a discipline. It's working that muscle out to say, okay, fear might be my initial reaction, but it's not my response. It doesn't have to be your response. So step one in that is just being aware of...

Samantha Bauer(06:27.447)
but it is a practice. Yes.

Christine Goforth(06:50.26)
the feeling you get in your body when you're scared, whether it's a pit in your stomach or your heart is racing or your palms are sweaty or your thoughts are going bonkers, like being aware of that fear and then saying like, okay, is this, do I really need to be fearful of X, Y, Z? Right? And, and stopping, recognizing that that's your thought pattern. And then literally,

Christine Goforth(06:50.26)
Like how many times have I done it literally out loud say, that's not what I want to say. I don't want that out in the universe. We're going to redo it, reflect, repeat something completely different. yes, flipping it on its head and changing the mindset is easy, but it takes a lot of discipline.

Samantha Bauer(07:30.683)
Right. Right. And a lot of time, I've said, particularly to my kids, change the tape. Literally just change that. What if you just change the tape, the script, whatever in your head? What if the thought instead of, I'm not going to find a job in time, we're going to be in financial ruin.

Samantha Bauer(07:30.683)
You know, again, literally you have the power to rewrite that script. You can change that thought, but it takes obviously, you you have to be mindful of the thoughts and you have to sit in observation and not judgment and just recognize so that you can, like you said, Christine, catch yourself. Cause you do, you have to catch yourself.

Christine Goforth(08:19.252)
And it absolutely and I think it also sometimes takes maybe an outside force to kind of remind you, hey, you don't you're not stuck. Your feet are not glued to this ground, so to speak. Right. You can go try new things. You can, as my husband likes to say, you can just go do things. You could go do anything. And sure, having a family and a home and all of that might make it more difficult, but it's not.

Samantha Bauer(08:32.307)
Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(08:48.714)
Impossible. And if it's something that you really want, then figure it out. Right? And again, easier said than done. But with the right attitude and the right tools and resources in place and like you said, the faith that it is going to work out. Like, okay, sure. You lost your job. That was the universe maybe nudging you and this isn't what you're supposed to be doing right now. Or...

Samantha Bauer(08:49.828)
Right. Sure. Well.

Samantha Bauer(09:05.94)
Right, Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, so so much too that we are we hit our heads against that.

Christine Goforth(09:14.92)
This is happening for a reason and you don't know yet and maybe you won't know for a year or two years or six months from now. Who knows, but it there will be a purpose to it.

Samantha Bauer(09:32.491)
that door that we think we're supposed to go through. Maybe that door has already been prescribed in our life. And it's like, well, I've already done this, so I guess this is what I need to do. But the door's locked, and you're banging your head against it. And so if you just, in this moment, like I told this medical assistant, give your wife the permission to take a deep breath and look around.

Christine Goforth(09:35.406)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(09:58.211)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(09:58.383)
look and see, there other doors? Are there other things out there for me that I didn't know existed? And if she just for one moment took a deep breath and turned and looked to her left, looked to her right, and saw that there were, my gosh, there's other doors here. There's not just this one door that I'm banging my head against, you know? so fear is, you're no stranger to fear.

Christine Goforth(10:17.484)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(10:24.852)
No, I'm not.

Samantha Bauer(10:25.655)
Fear has strangled you in your life in many ways, but we're going to stay on a little bit of on this health theme. But you had a series of health fears that kind of had a choke hold on you.

Christine Goforth(10:43.99)
Yeah, absolutely. It ruled the roost for quite some time. Yeah, it was definitely something that started, I would say, maybe eight or nine years ago. And over the years, it would be, you know, maybe once a year, once every year and a half, I would think that there was something wrong with me, whether it was I would feel a lump or a bump or...

Christine Goforth(10:43.99)
whatever it was, whether it was a breast cancer scare or melanoma scare, I mean, there are countless things that was like, I think this is, and then I spiral. And, and, so over the years it went from, know, maybe once every year and a half, something would come up. so for a few weeks I would be spiraling and, know, get, go to the doctor, figure out everything's fine. Okay. Okay. Great. And then it would happen.

Samantha Bauer(11:18.455)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(11:18.455)
And then I get my style. And so over the years, it's different. Maybe once every year, I have something with my object. So for example, you've got a piece of ironing. And it goes there.

Christine Goforth(11:43.489)
Again, and over the last eight or nine years, it got to the point where it was not happening once every year and a half. It was beginning to happen once every year, once every six months. And, know, I guess it was last about a year and a half ago, I had two back to back where I was convinced that I had melanoma, well, melanoma and lymphoma.

Samantha Bauer(11:48.629)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(12:01.111)
about a year and a half ago is I had two back-to-back where I was convinced that I had melanoma. Or, well, melanoma was on my two different legs. And yes, there were things that there wasn't actually a volunteer work. I really did actually not have those in check. those are things that in my head were possibilities. But for a person who...

Christine Goforth(12:12.568)
Two different ones. mean, and yes, there were things that there was an actual bump. There were, I really did actually not have a skin check. So those are things that in my head were possibilities. But for a person who has a healthy thinking brain, I guess I'll say, you don't, you feel like a little lymph node that might be swollen and you don't automatically think that you are dying.

Samantha Bauer(12:30.615)
I guess that's the thing.

Samantha Bauer(12:30.615)
Right. You did? Not anymore.

Christine Goforth(12:42.326)
Well, I do. I did. Not anymore. did. I did. it came to the point where I was... I put myself into having anxiety attacks for the first time in my entire life. My entire life I've gone. Never one time would I have ever said that I was depressed or anxious.

Samantha Bauer(12:57.655)
Yeah. Right.

Samantha Bauer(13:07.031)
that I was depressed or anxious. I think, you know, when you have a parent who gets in the anxiety, you know, need kids.

Christine Goforth(13:11.724)
I think, you know, when you become a parent, maybe you get some anxiety, know, kids, you're worried about them, all that. But I had never, it was like I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was like, I was anxious and worried all the time about leaving my kids without a mom.

Samantha Bauer(13:19.767)
But I had never, it was like I didn't recognize myself anymore. It was like I was anxious and worried all the time about leaving my family. Yeah, and I remember you telling me that you just said I'm just so I just I'm so upset, you know, I just these thoughts are, you know, like, really bringing me down and I'm so fearful that I am

Samantha Bauer(13:19.767)
not going to be here for my children. I mean, you just, and so, I mean, gosh, you talk about manifestation, right? And again, I'm not saying that you manifested all these issues in your body, but you were in a state of resistance because of that fear. And you couldn't feel healthy and happy and all the things because you were so consumed by the fear.

Christine Goforth(14:06.926)
Uh-huh. Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(14:18.571)
that something terrible was happening in your body. again, rationally, you can just say, OK, come on, Christine. Just get it together and whatever. But it's much deeper than that. And it actually reminds me a little bit of actually I've used this, the work by Byron Katie. She wrote a book called Loving What Is.

Christine Goforth(14:29.72)
sure.

Samantha Bauer(14:45.207)
The work essentially is just four very, very simple questions. And I've used it many times in my life where I'm so consumed with a narrative in my head that it's like, this real? Is this true? Or did I manufacture this in my brain? And so I think

Christine Goforth(15:02.114)
Right.

Christine Goforth(15:02.114)
Right, right.

Samantha Bauer(15:08.427)
kind of just using your example of, let's just say the skin cancer, you you were convinced that, you know, this spot was, cancerous. And so, you know, so then I'd ask you, is it true that you have skin cancer?

Christine Goforth(15:22.03)
Yeah, I mean at the time I would have told you, it's true that in three weeks time I'll have a positive biopsy that I have melanoma and it's spread to my liver and now I have six months to live. That's what I would have told you. Crazy.

Samantha Bauer(15:31.796)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(15:35.307)
Yeah. Right. Right. No, I mean, it's, it's, it, but it's just, again, it's such an illustration of the power of the mind and, and if it can do negative things, imagine the great that it can do. And so the next question is, so you believe it's true. it true? But can you absolutely know that it's true? Can you absolutely know that it's true that you had skin cancer at that time? No. And so then the next question is, you know,

Christine Goforth(15:43.8)
Right?

Christine Goforth(15:59.639)
No. No.

Samantha Bauer(16:04.503)
How do you react or what happens when you believe that thought?

Christine Goforth(16:09.144)
I spiral. Spiral, I Google, I do all of the, I mean, I finally had to take Chrome off of my phone because I was Googling all the time, all the time. And guess what? When you Google stuff that you can find whatever answer you want to be true. So going in there and being like, hmm, what happens? What are the symptoms of?

Samantha Bauer(16:10.945)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:10.945)
That's the worst.

Samantha Bauer(16:10.945)
because I.

Christine Goforth(16:37.966)
Lymphoma, oh, you have, you know, swollen lymph nodes, you lost weight unexpectedly, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, yep, that's me. And then I've convinced myself that I have it fully.

Samantha Bauer(16:46.788)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(16:46.788)
Exactly. So and then the next very simple question is, who would you be without that thought?

Christine Goforth(16:59.35)
Yeah, who I am today. At peace. At peace is where I would be. So why was I resisting it for so long, right? I think because maybe it felt unfamiliar to me or I'd lived in fear for so long that I didn't know what it would be like to not live in fear.

Samantha Bauer(17:00.503)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(17:00.503)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(17:00.503)
Or I live in New York, so I didn't know what it be like to not live in here. Right, right. And then, and of course, know, Byron Kelly goes, or Katie rather, goes on to talk about the turnaround. And that's, again, that's where the work is. But what's brilliant is that there's very, four very, you know,

Samantha Bauer(17:00.503)
Simple questions and I've used it so many times in my life like you when I was having you know a problem and you know a personal relationship or you know perhaps it was a friend that I thought was angry with me and so then I created right we've all done this right it's it's you know my gosh you know she's angry with me you know what did I say and you're so fearful that you've done something wrong and you've ruined the relationship or whatever and You know and then you just ask yourself is this true and of course you're like

Christine Goforth(17:46.232)
Sure.

Christine Goforth(17:46.232)
yeah.

Christine Goforth(17:57.889)
yes.

Samantha Bauer(18:04.605)
yeah, I mean, she's mad at me because she hasn't called me or da da da da da da da. And then, you know, and then then you ask the question, you know, how can you know that it's absolutely true? And it's like, well, OK, I can't absolutely know that she's mad at me because she hasn't really told me she's mad at me. And then who would I be without that thought? Again, I would be at peace. I would be, you know, happy about that relationship. And I wouldn't be filled with anxiety about the next time, you know, we had an interaction or whatever.

Christine Goforth(18:19.022)
Sure.

Christine Goforth(18:31.916)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(18:33.311)
And then the friend calls and she's just been super busy. She's not mad at you. I mean, it's just all that, you just created that monster in your head and that narrative. Yes, exactly, exactly. And I think it's worth talking about because the whole point of Sisters-in-Law of Attraction and the community of light-minded people that we're building here is,

Christine Goforth(18:47.136)
Worshiping a worry that isn't even there

Samantha Bauer(19:02.495)
It's about getting rid of fear and resistance, which is actual darkness and leaning into the joy and gratitude and bringing light, bringing light to others. And so I'm going to close with something that, and I actually might cry over this, but I was thinking last night about, you know, obviously when my kids were little and I'm helping a friend through empty nesting and, know, I act like I have all the answers, you know, to empty nesting. am actually

Christine Goforth(19:18.869)
no.

Christine Goforth(19:31.15)
You do have a lot of the answers.

Samantha Bauer(19:31.905)
quite enjoying my life. I love my darling children, but you know, it's like you do you boo boo. I have to come live my life over here. But I remember putting little Max to bed, know, in our little little prayer every night and it just came to mind and it said, Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for all of my blessings. Thank you for my mommy and daddy. Thank you for my family and friends. Thank you for my awesome school and my teachers. Please help me to be a good person and to help others.

Samantha Bauer(19:31.905)
And that was our prayer every night. And I remember in the moment, he would just take those little arms, you know, and squeeze my little neck. You know, I just have that image. And I just, you know, I'm so grateful that I had that moment with him. it was, and I, to this day, I can feel his little hug. He's 20 years old and he's kind of a little, but whatever. Anyhow, it's okay. No, I just talked to him this morning and I'm just like, listen, Linda.

Samantha Bauer(19:31.905)
You got to do da da da da da da da da da. He goes, don't tell me what to do. I was like, oh, OK. I am your manager. I am. Yeah, I'm still kind of your mom, but I know you're a young adult. Whatever. He's going to figure it out. He's amazing, but whatever. But it just reminds me of he asks, and this is kind of what it's all about. Mommy, why am I here? Oh my God, seriously? Could you ask me anything?

Christine Goforth(20:32.632)
I'm your manager.

Christine Goforth(20:39.413)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(20:55.529)
Mommy, why am I here? This five-year-old boy wants to know what his purpose is on this life. And I just told him, your job is to lift others. And so that's what this is about. This is about living in the lane of joy and gratitude so that you can bring light to others and to lift others. so, gosh, Christine, it's like two seconds and it's over. Well, here's the...

Christine Goforth(21:06.636)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(21:19.38)
It goes by so fast. It goes by so fast.

Samantha Bauer(21:24.215)
Right? Here's the great news. We get to come back again next week. And so we can't wait for you to guys to join us again. Thank you so much for being here. This is Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And I'm Christine. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

Christine Goforth(21:27.83)
Bye!

Christine Goforth(21:34.996)
and I'm Christine.