Resilience! Just Get Back Up!

Samantha Bauer(00:01.736)
Welcome back, everybody. This is Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And we're so thrilled you're back with us today. Christine, it's been a minute since we've done this. And I've so missed this. every day, I wake up, and it's time to get back on here. I get so excited. mean, this is just so fun. And we're so thrilled to share what we have learned along our journey.

Christine Goforth(00:06.164)
And I'm Christine.

Christine Goforth(00:16.215)
I know.

Christine Goforth(00:21.709)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(00:31.008)
and living that high vibey life and attracting all the good things that are meant for us. so today, I think we should talk about that thing called resilience. It's something that really can stand in the way of making some real progress in being able to take on the tough things in life.

Christine Goforth(00:43.278)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(00:58.002)
and being able to, and this has become my new favorite word and we're gonna talk about it in a future episode, but being able to pivot. Being able to, right? And so resilience is kind of that one word that Christine and I, we've talked about a lot and so I think this is a great time to really kind of dive into the resilience. So Christine, I think for you, for your personal journey,

Christine Goforth(01:05.879)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(01:26.334)
I think resilience is actually a really big deal based on what you recently experienced.

Christine Goforth(01:30.552)
huge.

Christine Goforth(01:34.413)
Yes, yes, absolutely. It is something that has been a huge theme over probably over my lifetime, quite honestly, but certainly most in the last few years. I think we have talked before my husband and I worked for a company that went under overnight and, many, many layers to that, but certainly that is a big, big pivot.

Christine Goforth(01:34.413)
And it's a big pivot in a very short period of time.

Samantha Bauer(02:05.44)
Yeah, when you lose your job, right? And everything gets pulled out from underneath you and financial security and you're raising a family and all of that. Really? You want me to be resilient? What exactly does that look like? So for you, what did it look like?

Christine Goforth(02:13.868)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(02:20.716)
Resilient right now. Well, it looked like honestly going into survival mode, blocking out all the noise and figuring out, taking it day by day, figuring out what is the largest fire we need to put out first. What is the thing that we need to handle first, right? First, we need to make sure we have X amount of money.

Christine Goforth(02:20.716)
so that we know how long we have until we have to sell the house or whatever it is. So you make a plan and you might have two months to make a plan. You might have two minutes to make a plan. And for us, was, my God, visiting the village of freaking out and panic, but trying really hard not to live in it because it doesn't do you any good, right? And so...

Samantha Bauer(02:51.338)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(03:02.432)
Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(03:11.356)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(03:16.393)
right.

Christine Goforth(03:19.2)
Obviously my husband, maybe not obviously, I shouldn't say that. My husband was a breadwinner and so it was most important for him to pivot and get his feelers out there. He has spent decades building a really, really good reputation. So pivoting and going back to people that he has helped out in the past and provided opportunities to, and being able to go to those folks and say, hey,

Samantha Bauer(03:31.327)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(03:35.626)
Sure.

Christine Goforth(03:49.039)
Do you know of any openings? you know of any, any opportunities? This is what happened. Um, and for me, my pivot was big because I went from having a hybrid job where I got to be with my kids a lot, also got to work and was making a healthy income. And overnight it was, there was nothing. And it was, it was a time when.

Samantha Bauer(03:53.364)
Right. Right.

Samantha Bauer(04:09.727)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(04:20.204)
I wish I had, I wish I knew now. I wish I had known now what I, known then what I know now. I'll get it. Because I feel like I would have taken that time to think, okay, what, what this time is a gift, right? Time is a gift, time is a resource. And kind of, I wish I'd had the luxury to view it that way in the moment.

Samantha Bauer(04:29.344)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(04:41.354)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(04:49.686)
right? But again, survival mode. And so it's, it's a matter of, okay, what is it? What is most important to me? It is still being there to be there for my kids after they get out of school. That's all they've known at 14 and 12. I'm not going to change it. And so it's like, okay, I'm going to go into substitute teaching.

Samantha Bauer(04:50.622)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(04:50.622)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(05:05.982)
Right. Yep.

Samantha Bauer(05:10.943)
Right.

Christine Goforth(05:16.888)
How perfect is that? It's flexibility. It's not stressful. I'm not taking any of the work home. I'm not dealing with any of the parents and I can make my own hours. I can be there for my kids. And it's realizing that what happened to us was not our fault, but how we move forward is what we have to be responsible for.

Samantha Bauer(05:16.98)
Yep, absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(05:28.117)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(05:40.862)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(05:45.278)
Right, and I think in that pivot, as I'm thinking more about what that means, you and your husband sought opportunity. You got very clear on what you wanted. Instead of playing victim, all this happened to me, boo hooey stuff. You were able to, again, do that pivot. And that's where the resilience is. Resilience is we do this all the time, the big stuff, like losing your job. I was thinking, too.

Christine Goforth(05:56.491)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(06:15.242)
of my darling mother who is battling cancer, breast cancer for the third time. I mean, she should be totally pissed and crying in the corner. But we have these conversations, and she's got good days and bad days, where she doesn't feel good physically or mentally. But she says, this is a choice. I have beaten cancer twice before. I can do it again. I have that strength. And so when we talk about resilience, we talk about strength.

Christine Goforth(06:18.903)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(06:44.172)
And it's not, you know, it's not pretending like you're you're all good and it is going to be fine, but really, really diving into that that mental strength. And we keep on going back to the power of the human mind. Right. And that's where you and I started this journey. This is the whole point of Sisters in Law of Attraction podcast is to teach people that.

Christine Goforth(07:07.701)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(07:11.664)
Your thoughts create reality. Yes, we've heard this, but it's so true, and particularly in your experience. And then with my mom, she says, I'm just going to choose to have faith.

Christine Goforth(07:15.436)
Yep.

Christine Goforth(07:25.633)
Right. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(07:26.054)
in my doctors, I'm gonna choose to have faith that this medicine is doing what it's supposed to do. Because what's the alternative? Right? You sit in a corner and again, do the boo hooey stuff, that doesn't make you feel good, right? So you...

Christine Goforth(07:42.999)
Well, not only does it not make you feel good, but it makes you feel worse. And it clouds the mind even more and creates barriers and blocks to be able to even think straight and see things clearly.

Samantha Bauer(07:47.08)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(07:54.716)
and may even contribute, yeah, it may even contribute more to the physical challenges. Yeah. and again, talking about resilience, I was thinking about it in my own mind. When was a time where I failed or I got a no, and it's like, OK, how am I going to pivot? How am I going to go after this again? And I think people who live big.

Christine Goforth(08:01.134)
Absolutely. Yep.

Samantha Bauer(08:24.32)
are resilient, right? And then we talk about, you and I have talked about, you what does resilience look like in our own kids? Of course, we want our children to be happy, and we feel like our job is to make them happy, but we can't create a perfect...

Christine Goforth(08:26.264)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(08:39.31)
Mmm.

Samantha Bauer(08:42.568)
you know, a perfect bubble for them because they're never going to be able to navigate the challenges and build that resilience. So one of my favorite, I'm going to out my yeah, right. So I'm going to out myself a little bit on my parenting style, which obviously is a little different than maybe others. But when my daughter was in high school, you know, she broke up with her high school boyfriend at the time. And, you know, she was in tears and I was dropping her off at school and she was, I don't know, she was running for student government for something. She had to go give a speech and she literally is in

Christine Goforth(08:44.716)
No.

Christine Goforth(08:50.112)
Our job is to prepare them, right?

Samantha Bauer(09:12.482)
tears and boo hooey. And I just looked at her and I said, put your balls on tits up. Like we all, there's no crying in baseball. you got, yeah, you got to pivot, right? Yes, I understand you're sad. Totally get it. But also,

Christine Goforth(09:20.878)
Go in and do the damn thing.

Samantha Bauer(09:30.002)
You've got a job to do now, right? You've got to pivot, and you've got to go perform in this other thing. And I think when we talk about resilience, it's, OK, that sucks over there. But again, I'm going to pivot, and I'm going to turn, and I'm going to focus my energy and my thoughts on something else. Again, it's not avoidance, because yes, she needed to sit. And she's like, Mom, I'm just sad. I'm like, of course you're sad. Of course you're sad.

Christine Goforth(09:52.599)
Yes, but now is not the time or the place to be in that moment. I tell my kids all the time, you can visit those places, but we don't live there. Because when you live there, that is when it kind of just snowballs, right?

Samantha Bauer(10:02.718)
Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(10:02.718)
Yes. Yeah, I love that. You visit it, right? And it's like a touch and go. And again, it's that whole pivot. You recognize that you visit, but like you said, you don't live in it, which I absolutely love. And I think when people ask, how do you do this? How do you do this work? It's

Christine Goforth(10:11.598)
Mm-hmm.

Samantha Bauer(10:33.184)
It comes down to, know, because people say, well, Sam, you're just strong mentally. Like, you're just more tough. And I don't know. mean, maybe that's true. But also, it's a practice, right? Christine, you and I have talked about.

Christine Goforth(10:49.23)
Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(10:50.866)
where it's a practice because we're clear that we want to live in the lane of joy and gratitude and get high vibey with the universe so that we can accept accept all the good things in our lives. But doesn't mean that we're we sit here live perfect lives for for God sakes. So so really and truly resilience is a is a muscle.

Christine Goforth(11:06.252)
Right, no. No, not by a long shot.

Samantha Bauer(11:18.432)
that you have to build and nurture. it's when, and again, I'm going to go back to those who choose to eat the whole damn pie of life, your resilience muscle perhaps is stronger because you get a lot more nos, a lot more failures.

Christine Goforth(11:40.236)
You've heard the nose. Yep, exactly. Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(11:44.224)
Yeah, and so if you play it safe, you eat the crumbs of life, you sit on the sideline, your failures aren't big, your no's aren't big. You actually may not even get no's because you're not even putting yourself out there and challenging yourself doing new things. And it reminds me of looking at

Christine Goforth(11:56.685)
Right? Trying.

Samantha Bauer(12:06.108)
our parenting style. And I think that your approach is perhaps a little bit different, but the outcome has been kind of the same. mean, obviously our kids are completely different, but they're solid, young, adult people that are kind and driven and like life, enjoy life. And yeah.

Christine Goforth(12:14.639)
Yeah. I think their core is, yeah, right.

Christine Goforth(12:27.086)
Yes, enjoy life. They want to be productive members of society and be out in their community.

Samantha Bauer(12:37.682)
Yeah, yeah. And I was thinking about my, think I shared with you this past week, my son Max, he's putting himself out there in a very big way. He's a junior in college in Texas. And the competition is very stiff and getting these coveted internships with these huge private equity firms. And he's getting there. He's getting to the final, but he's got a lot of no's. And so the conversation that I have with him

Samantha Bauer(12:37.682)
is you're building that resilience muscle. And so that is only strengthening you to continue to pursue because it's like, okay, so you pursued that, you didn't get it, it's a no. You're gonna try again, you're gonna pivot and you're gonna apply to the next one. you know.

Christine Goforth(13:13.602)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(13:25.708)
Right, because it's like you have the kid who hears the no all the time and keeps going and it's, you become unafraid of hearing the no as opposed to the kid who's had the easy path his whole life, has heard yeses all the way and that first no is a big slap in the face, right? I mean.

Samantha Bauer(13:38.366)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(13:47.347)
Absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(13:47.347)
Yeah, yeah. No, it's in it. He shared he got to the final round with the president CEO. He's on the 30 minute call. And the prep was he was supposed to walk through this case study that he'd spent four hours on, you know, two days prior. So he was all prepped and ready to go. And he's like, my God, Mom, he didn't even ask me about the case study. He asked me about a case study I did a year ago. And I said, well, that was a pivot. Right. You had to pivot in the moment.

Christine Goforth(14:16.62)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:18.658)
and go, okay, those hours that I just spent prepping for this 30 minute call has nothing to do with what we're talking about right now. So, anyhow, so resilience is really, I love to think of it again in terms of that ultimate pivot. But as we're talking more about what exactly does resilience look like in your life and...

Christine Goforth(14:37.251)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:49.711)
How can it serve you in this work of strengthening your mind, strengthening your thoughts, avoiding the narrative in your head that you're a loser, you're never gonna win, why did you even try? See this, right, again.

Samantha Bauer(14:49.711)
We talked about this before, you know, I'm just I'm just not even going get in the game because, you know, like you said, the other shoe is going to drop and, know, I'm just I'm just going to I'm just not going to do it. Yeah. So I think that we. When we talk about.

Christine Goforth(15:25.23)
Play it safe.

Samantha Bauer(15:34.11)
getting in lane of joy, gratitude, and being high-vibe with the universe, that all sounds good. But what exactly does that look like? Because every day, life throws challenges and obstacles in our way. And so I always say to my kids, how you respond in this moment matters. How you, right? And I've said this before.

Christine Goforth(15:58.69)
Yep. How you do one thing is how you do everything.

Samantha Bauer(16:03.808)
Exactly. Yeah, exactly. And so I think that when we're going down this path of trying to live in the lane of joy of gratitude and high vibiness, life happens and bad things happen and challenges happen all the time. And again, it's really and truly how you pivot. But resilience is based on faith.

Samantha Bauer(16:03.808)
faith in yourself, faith that it will all work out because it always does.

Christine Goforth(16:40.598)
It always has and it always will. Yeah, absolutely. And it's, you're absolutely right. go ahead. I was just going to say you're absolutely right. It is a, it's a practice and it is when you're manifesting or, putting your faith in the universe and it's having patience and seeing that if the thing that you're working for or hoping for manifesting, whatever you want to call it.

Samantha Bauer(16:44.52)
Yeah and I think recently... go ahead.

Christine Goforth(17:10.208)
isn't coming, you're not going to give up. You stick with it. You keep going. And my husband loves the do something that you're scared of or that promotes fear inside of you. Do one thing that scares you every day. And that's all part of building that resilience. Because then you become unafraid to fail, so you'll try anything, right?

Samantha Bauer(17:13.215)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(17:28.252)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(17:32.804)
Exactly. Yeah. No, and it reminds me of, you know, when I was writing the book Rebound with Carl Johnson, I had never written a book before. And so I went to this thing called Pitch Slam in Santa Monica down in Southern California. And essentially it was, you know, American Idol for writers. You you got in line and you had you had your 30 second pitch and you, know, in front of these literary agents and you, you you went in and it was it was such an invigorating

Samantha Bauer(17:32.804)
experience because you're literally putting yourself out there and literally being told no in that moment in your face. But I gotta tell you, I felt, I got a lot of nos that day. Matter of fact, I got all nos. I got a maybe. Send me an email with da da da da da, and I might look at your manuscript.

Christine Goforth(18:04.172)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(18:18.931)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(18:24.523)
hahahaha

Samantha Bauer(18:29.012)
But it was so invigorating and I felt like, my God, I just put myself out there in a very real public way.

Samantha Bauer(18:29.012)
And literally the response is, nope, know, homeless stories don't don't sell not interested by, oh, OK, have a great day. And so then I go again and then and I think I did five pitches that day and the energy in the room was just crazy because we're all just like, you know, we're all writers and we're all desperate for like, can someone please say yes to us? You know, and and and I remember.

Christine Goforth(18:38.861)
right.

Christine Goforth(18:46.541)
Okay. Bye, think.

Christine Goforth(18:57.993)
Yeah, it's excited and...

Samantha Bauer(19:06.08)
in the moment feeling really just proud of myself and talk about that resilience. It's like, oh my god, yes. I'm like, yeah, tell me no. Tell me no. it, yes.

Christine Goforth(19:14.157)
I don't, yeah, like, cause you got yourself there. You got, you put yourself in the room to hear a note.

Samantha Bauer(19:21.03)
Exactly, exactly. But I do remember after telling Carl, quick background, Carl, former homeless man. I met him and I helped him write his story called Rebound. Anyhow, I remember coming back and I said, Carl, I tried. I didn't get any traction.

Samantha Bauer(19:21.03)
And I felt the loss. I felt the failure. And I said, maybe you just asked the wrong person to help you write this. And he says, no. He said, Sam, you're a good writer and you're my friend. And I was like, OK. In that moment, talk about resilience. It's not about landing the big publishing deal. It's not about getting the movie rights to his story. It's not about all that. It was.

Christine Goforth(19:54.54)
No way.

Christine Goforth(20:04.663)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(20:11.72)
He asked me for help. I helped him. And we forged an unlikely friendship over it. And long story short, we self-published, and we did it, and we had our own little successes. But I got to tell you, there is nothing better in building that resilience muscle than getting rejection. And so you've got to put yourself out there. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(20:17.591)
Right.

Christine Goforth(20:17.591)
I'd call that a success.

Christine Goforth(20:25.856)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(20:33.483)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm proud of you.

Samantha Bauer(20:39.002)
I know, I know. So here we could just talk all day about this resilience. I know you've got 50 million other examples, and I do too. But for our listeners out there, put yourself in the position of the no, of the failure. Face it, because building that resilience muscle is what's going to give you the big payoff.

Samantha Bauer(21:05.035)
And I think I'm going to go back to the cave quote, right? Should I put you on the spot? So it's Joseph Campbell's quote, but the cave you fear.

Christine Goforth(21:10.541)
I love it. Always.

Samantha Bauer(21:23.786)
holds the treasure, there you go.

Christine Goforth(21:24.503)
holds the treasure you seek and the person, yeah, the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek. I thought the whole thing with the key and the, okay. I'm like, I thought I was, okay. You're good, you're totally good.

Samantha Bauer(21:30.592)
Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, there's a little more to it, a little more to it, but.

Samantha Bauer(21:30.592)
I'm sorry. I totally put you on the spot there. But again, resilience is part of this process. It's not all fun and games. When people say, well, how do you do it? You don't just naturally live in the lane of joy and gratitude. You don't naturally wake up every day all high vibey waiting for everything to be handed to you in a silver platter. It takes time. Yeah, it takes time, work. yeah.

Christine Goforth(21:54.155)
No.

Christine Goforth(22:01.353)
work. Uh-huh. Patience and faith.

Samantha Bauer(22:06.674)
and discipline. anyhow, our time is up and it goes so, so quick. So thank you everyone for joining us for the Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam and we'll see you next time.

Christine Goforth(22:13.431)
Thank you. And I'm Christine.