The "V" in Pivot

Samantha Bauer(00:01.196)
Welcome back to Sisters-in-Law of Attractions. Hello, sorry. Welcome back to Sisters-in-Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And we're so thrilled you came back. We are talking about our pivot method that we've come up with. We've talked about the P being our purpose. Last time we talked about the I, innovate, create, the life that you wanna live. And today we're gonna talk about the V in pivot and it's value yourself.

Christine Goforth(00:09.145)
And I'm Christine.

Christine Goforth(00:30.358)
you.

Samantha Bauer(00:31.402)
Yes, value yourself. And I do want to start off, Christine, with number one, I think I value our time together because it just is a constant reminder in my life about how I can continue to do this work and lean into the practices and the tools that we've talked about. it is, and it just requires, you know,

Christine Goforth(00:50.149)
Right?

Christine Goforth(00:53.968)
It's a really good anchor.

Samantha Bauer(00:58.894)
discipline and constant attention because you can see how you can kind of slip a little bit if you don't remind yourself and like you said, anchor yourself to this work. It's easy to let others influence you, let the outside world influence you and drag you down and it's... Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(00:59.856)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(01:07.216)
Absolutely.

Christine Goforth(01:19.04)
Negativity is so easy. Negativity is so easy. There's always stuff to complain about. There will always be stuff to complain about. And for some reason our brains, that is default. There's always so much to be joyful for also. So.

Samantha Bauer(01:25.879)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(01:30.637)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(01:30.637)
Absolutely. you know, having value in yourself, but also you bring value to others when you bring the light, right? And so I remember, you know, during COVID time, everyone was like super sad and everyone was sideways. And I remember I was in a store and the, the gal that was helping me, she's like, gosh, this world. just, and she just...

Christine Goforth(01:43.972)
Right. Right.

Samantha Bauer(02:02.094)
And I just looked at her and I said, it's our job to bring the light. Like, who's gonna do it? And she just kind of looked at me and I'm like, yeah, you can be a victim of the negative stuff, but you can bring the light and have an impact. And I think that's what you and I, I think, found. Initially, it was focused on ourselves to try to right ourselves, but then we started seeing like, oh my gosh.

Christine Goforth(02:17.21)
Right.

Christine Goforth(02:26.158)
Right. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(02:30.638)
Like I actually can make a positive impact in others in our community. I think...

Christine Goforth(02:38.02)
And it doesn't take a lot, right? And I think that a lot of times when people think about making a difference, it's like this big monumental thing. And it doesn't have to be that. You start small, you start within your own four walls, right? And whether it's your own four walls as in yourself, your home, the people in your home, and then you go out and...

Samantha Bauer(02:42.078)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(02:49.197)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(02:54.988)
Right.

Christine Goforth(03:02.446)
You you create a podcast and you spread the message this way. No, I just love it.

Samantha Bauer(03:04.238)
It's a word. And it goes back. And it goes back to, think, realizing that your job is not to fix other people, make people happy. You know, your job is very simple. Show up with joy and gratitude.

Samantha Bauer(03:04.238)
And that's it. I mean you just if you if you just you know do that so that's where the V in pivot comes in to value yourself, you know love yourself and recently Vex King posted on his social Quote that I wanted to share when you decide that you are worthy the universe doesn't argue it adapts new people new chances new energy all begin to align

Samantha Bauer(03:04.238)
with the version of you that finally believes in better. And I love that, right? I mean, it's all law of attraction stuff.

Christine Goforth(04:08.751)
Yes, it is. it is, it's realizing that you put your own limitations on the things that you can have, the things you can achieve, you know, whatever it is, the net, you put the limit on what you can have, do achieve, live, work, all of the things. So once you realize that you can move that goalpost, you can move that and anything really is attainable.

Samantha Bauer(04:22.787)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(04:30.633)
Exactly.

Samantha Bauer(04:38.99)
Right. Right.

Christine Goforth(04:40.6)
you kind of realize, right? And the universe then knows, okay, she's ready for it or he's ready for it. Like, okay, let's do this.

Samantha Bauer(04:49.598)
Exactly, exactly. then, you know, it's exactly what he says. Like once you decide that you are worthy, the universe, God will deliver up and this part I love, deliver up people and chances and opportunities and all that, right? Because, you you're now open to it because you are worthy. You know, on this subject, I read an article in Positive Psychology and the author was making the distinction

Christine Goforth(05:05.488)
opportunities.

Samantha Bauer(05:19.712)
between self-worth and self-esteem. yeah, and so I think it'd be valuable to kind of talk a little bit about this because the author makes the distinction is that self-worth is unconditional, it's intrinsic, right? It's not based on external factors like accomplishments and feedback and awards and all of that.

Christine Goforth(05:24.354)
okay.

Christine Goforth(05:43.216)
Sure. Right. External validation. Sure.

Samantha Bauer(05:48.096)
Right, so that's where self-esteem is fleeting because it's like, okay, well you get the accolades and all of that. It's all external. Where self-worth is that unconditional intrinsic that's not reliant on any outside feedback.

Christine Goforth(06:08.612)
And that's something you got to build on your, you're the only one who can build it for yourself, right?

Samantha Bauer(06:14.526)
Exactly, exactly. And so the article goes on to say, okay,

Samantha Bauer(06:14.526)
I mean, how do I do this? How do I build self-worth? And so, I mean, I was blessed to be raised to love myself and I had a very positive upbringing. So I was taught early on the importance of loving yourself. And obviously, with my faith and relationship with God, I know I'm worthy.

Christine Goforth(06:25.103)
Right.

Christine Goforth(06:42.33)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(06:51.536)
because I was meant to be here, to contribute to others and to lift others, quite frankly. So that's, think I talk about self-efficacy and I make the, people are like, well, how come Sam, like, how do you know how to do that? I said, well, I don't know how to do it. I just believe that I can figure it out, right? That's self-efficacy piece on the doing part.

Christine Goforth(06:54.906)
Mm-hmm.

Christine Goforth(07:13.71)
I don't... Sure. Ready.

Christine Goforth(07:20.944)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(07:21.484)
But I also believe that I am worthy because of just who I am. It's that being peace versus doing peace, right?

Christine Goforth(07:31.798)
I love that. I love that distinction.

Samantha Bauer(07:34.702)
Yeah, yeah, because you have to be something that is that you feel is worthy versus going out and banging your head against the wall and doing and trying to get external, you know, validation, which is all ego driven, right? The whole self-esteem is all ego driven. so, so I think, yeah, yeah.

Christine Goforth(07:53.358)
Validation. Yeah. Exactly.

Christine Goforth(07:53.358)
Yep. I gosh, sorry. It brings me to, and I, I believe I had this experience with both of my daughters at one point and I'm, I'm sure there are many parents that can, you know, relate to this. So they have the block letters in elementary school that you can earn through sports and drama and all the different extracurriculars and all of that.

Samantha Bauer(08:19.203)
Sure.

Christine Goforth(08:29.23)
Well, sports is very heavy on the points, right? You can get points for all the different sports. My daughters aren't super sporty. One of them is more so than the other, but they both did so many other things. Drama, they started a podcast. They would do affirmations on the black top, all kinds of just, they would do every single other thing other than whatever sports, right?

Samantha Bauer(08:34.568)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(08:40.173)
there.

Samantha Bauer(08:54.605)
Right.

Christine Goforth(08:54.99)
And it would cut in each of those things as points and you get so many points and then you get the big award, the big plaque, right? And both of my girls did so much, but still fell short. And it was like by one or two points. And it's like, they both come home and it's like in tears. Cause it's like, I thought I just, did this and this and this and.

Samantha Bauer(09:02.221)
Yep.

Samantha Bauer(09:09.634)
Wow, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(09:09.634)
Right.

Christine Goforth(09:20.88)
I helped, I was a library helper. was a this helper. worked with pals. did this and, it's still not enough. And it's those conversations of, listen, number one, you hate running. Would you have wanted to go do cross country every day that you would have been miserable for two points? And then you get a plaque. You would have been miserable. Okay. That's number one. Number two, most importantly, your worth doesn't come from that.

Samantha Bauer(09:27.212)
Right. Right.

Samantha Bauer(09:39.232)
Yeah. Right? Right.

Christine Goforth(09:50.434)
You did help in the library. You did a great job in there. You sorted the books, you put them away. You were a huge help. You helped in PALS. You were there for the kids who with special needs and, and you learned so much from these things, these experiences you, you helped in drama. You did the spelling bee. All of these things. They, you did those that has value to them just because the school.

Samantha Bauer(09:50.454)
Yes.

Samantha Bauer(09:57.42)
Right.

Christine Goforth(10:18.884)
doesn't give you an extra point for that, doesn't make it any less valuable. Having that plaque or not doesn't negate any of the work that you did. Does it suck? Yeah. But also be who you are, be true to who you are. If you don't like sports, don't go sport.

Samantha Bauer(10:22.062)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(10:22.062)
Right, right.

Samantha Bauer(10:29.844)
Exactly, Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(10:29.844)
It doesn't look, yeah. Right. And it also doesn't lessen, you know, your girls on who they are as people, right? And like you said, your worth has nothing to do with this plaque. Yeah.

Christine Goforth(10:42.859)
No! And they're f-

Christine Goforth(10:48.304)
validation, right? So those conversations start young and early.

Samantha Bauer(10:53.614)
Yeah, no, no, I know. I was reflecting a little bit too on my, you know, running for office and losing and losing. Like, you know, like we've talked about, it's like, it's a very public loss. Like, I remember right after the election going, oh my God, like I'm a loser. I lost. Like, this is like, this is what's going on in my head, right? But it's all ego driven, right? I mean, it's self-esteem stuff.

Christine Goforth(11:14.704)
Please

Christine Goforth(11:14.704)
Totally bi-

Christine Goforth(11:14.704)
Who has the balls to go and go do that anyway? Who has the balls to go run a campaign? Who's never run a campaign? Come on now. Like that's amazing. You're not a loser.

Samantha Bauer(11:24.663)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(11:28.354)
Right, right, but it was just funny to me, I cause I was laughing at myself cause I'm like, okay, I gotta stop thinking like this, but also I was laughing because, at myself, because I'm like, just because I failed at something doesn't mean that I have no self worth, right? And then you just, and then you hashtag pivot, right?

Christine Goforth(11:52.206)
What's meant for you is not gonna pass you by, right? Like it wasn't meant for you.

Samantha Bauer(11:54.662)
Exactly, exactly, exactly. so, you know, I think that point, you know, the distinction between self-worth and self-esteem is very, very important and really, you know, our,

Samantha Bauer(11:54.662)
know, society is very much driven by the external and the accolades and all of that. But that's why this is so important is to pull back from that and understand that that is just feeding ego and self-esteem that is fleeting. But your self-worth, right? I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I mean, I was laughing at myself calling myself a loser. I didn't think I was a loser. Of course I didn't.

Christine Goforth(12:19.943)
yeah.

Samantha Bauer(12:37.998)
Because I went on to do other things that were great and whatever. so I think it's a really, really important, and that's why this work is so important too, is just going inside yourself and really finding the reward inside of yourself and really understanding that you're worthy of this. You have huge value. So it deserves your time and attention.

Christine Goforth(12:40.196)
Yes, yes.

Christine Goforth(13:07.632)
Absolutely. And I think to the other point too, when you fail and then you go talk or fail, I'll use that in quotes. When you fail, it gives other people permission to go and try and fail also, right? Like, okay, so if I'm in my head and we're acquaintances, it's like, okay, well, if she can do that and she didn't win,

Samantha Bauer(13:16.749)
Right, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(13:24.738)
Absolutely, absolutely.

Samantha Bauer(13:33.219)
Right.

Christine Goforth(13:35.504)
And I still think so highly of her. Why? Like, and she seems fine, right? Like she's, she, she's fine. Like she's good. She's going on doing other things. Why can't I do that? Right. And I think, so again, you, you take the leap and that helps other people take the leap. Right.

Samantha Bauer(13:41.262)
Bye.

Samantha Bauer(13:48.29)
Yeah. Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(13:55.726)
Yeah, absolutely. it's you you're almost empowered when you fail. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like I was almost like, yeah, bring it on. Like I

Christine Goforth(14:00.768)
being the light to go light other people up, right? Like, yeah.

Christine Goforth(14:07.951)
Yeah.

Samantha Bauer(14:08.974)
I did something big and I failed, but I just felt so empowered by it, you know, because it just propels you to do the next big thing or whatever, you know, and it's like, okay, nothing totally bad happened. I just, you know, didn't win. So hashtag pivot, right? And you just, and you go to the next thing. So yeah, and I look back too and go, yeah, I just...

Christine Goforth(14:14.287)
Yeah.

Christine Goforth(14:14.287)
Totally!

Christine Goforth(14:25.56)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(14:34.4)
It's living that badass life. It's just being a badass and just doing big stuff even though you might fail because you still have that intrinsic self-worth value that you know, I'm, like I know who I am and I am valuable to me and I add value to others.

Christine Goforth(14:36.645)
Right?

Christine Goforth(14:58.34)
Well, and it's the, it's the, okay, this didn't work out for me. And then not taking that thought and saying, okay, well, this didn't work out for me. Nothing's ever going to work out for me then. Well, this was, okay, well, if everybody did that, nobody would get anything done. So try again. Try it again.

Samantha Bauer(15:08.481)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(15:12.438)
Right. Yes, yes, yes. Try, try, try again. So in this article, they identified

Samantha Bauer(15:12.438)
you know, some things that you can do to increase your self-worth. Because again, you know, not all of us walk around feeling like we're the baddest, you know, awesomest person out there, right? And a lot of people need to spend a little bit more time on, you know, really valuing themselves. And so one of the activities is, you know, it involves increasing your self-understanding.

Christine Goforth(15:35.834)
Sure.

Samantha Bauer(15:51.126)
And this is important work to do. And again, it's a little bit of what we've talked about before, asking yourself if everything was suddenly taken away from you, what if you just had yourself? How would that make you feel? If everything was taken, like your job, your everything, and it's just you? And then what would you actually have?

Christine Goforth(16:12.31)
that's, yeah.

Samantha Bauer(16:20.174)
that would be a value. And so that really kind of strips everything away, right? If everything is taken away, like, okay, so what am I about? What value do I bring to others? I'm really spending some time with this. And again, there's no one answer to this. Right. And then...

Christine Goforth(16:21.869)
wow.

Christine Goforth(16:21.869)
Yeah, yeah.

Christine Goforth(16:37.904)
no, I think everyone's answer would be different.

Samantha Bauer(16:44.994)
This gets out a little bit, last time we talked about the being versus the doing, right? Who am I? so there's questions that you could ask to get a little bit deeper in understanding who you are. How am I? How am I in the world? How do others see me? How do others speak about me, right? And then what key life moments define who I am today?

Christine Goforth(17:01.22)
Right? How am I perceived?

Samantha Bauer(17:11.212)
And then what brings me passion, fulfillment, joy, which is, you we've talked about this before. It's, know, that's, you know, we're all kind of chasing that, right? Anyhow, so, you know, there's a series of questions that you can do very self reflective and spending time on this and, you know, increasing your self understanding actually kind of changes the tape in your head too about yourself, your self talk, right?

Christine Goforth(17:19.472)
Yeah, right.

Christine Goforth(17:30.533)
Right.

Christine Goforth(17:36.303)
Yes.

Christine Goforth(17:36.303)
Well, and I think, I think in doing all of those exercises, answering the prompts, it allows you to one, understand maybe why you behave a certain way or why you move through the world in a certain way. Give yourself grace, not excuses, not, but reasons and under, like you said, understanding, understanding yourself, looking inward and reflecting, you know, if I think that people, if

Samantha Bauer(17:55.694)
All

Christine Goforth(18:08.048)
If in the quiet moments, I really and truly am honest with myself and I think, okay, this is the way people probably perceive me. If I like that or I don't like that, what steps can I take to either lean in or find something, find a different way to interact with people, whatever it is. It's like,

Samantha Bauer(18:20.738)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(18:31.021)
Right.

Christine Goforth(18:34.254)
That self-reflection is the starting point for so many things. For anything that you want to change about yourself, sitting with yourself, asking those questions, and really being honest with yourself.

Samantha Bauer(18:43.011)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(18:48.718)
Am I being authentic person that I think I am or should? Because there, mean, again, we've talked about this too. You can't care about what people think about you, but also you need to pay a little bit of attention to it too, because if you're not self-reflective, and that's your social mirror, that gives you feedback on how you're perceived. yeah, so definitely paying attention.

Christine Goforth(19:08.026)
Right.

Christine Goforth(19:11.738)
Totally.

Christine Goforth(19:17.808)
Absolutely. I if people think that I'm awful and I think I'm the nicest person on earth

Samantha Bauer(19:18.672)
Thank

Samantha Bauer(19:23.822)
Yeah. Right.

Christine Goforth(19:26.488)
Right? Because obviously I'm not doing, there's, there is something wrong in that connection. It's not meeting up. So yeah, no, a little inner work and, and some movement on that.

Samantha Bauer(19:32.749)
Right.

Samantha Bauer(19:37.538)
Right, just being a little, yeah, like you said, be honest with yourself. I mean, if you think you're just like the nicest person that ever walked to earth, but then, yeah, you you're behaving in a way that doesn't align with that, right, then maybe something's a little off. Maybe people don't really like you.

Christine Goforth(19:46.04)
But then you have no friends. Right?

Christine Goforth(19:46.04)
Yeah

Samantha Bauer(19:56.91)
Anyhow, there's plenty of things that we can do, but it's important to recognize your self-worth that you do bring something to the table. And again, it's not about pleasing people, right? It's not about fulfilling something in somebody else. And so just really and truly to do this work.

Samantha Bauer(19:56.91)
you have to love yourself. you know, I think exactly, exactly. I love it. Again, Jen Cinchero's You Are a Badass, she literally ends every chapter with, and by the way, love yourself. And I love this.

Christine Goforth(20:25.53)
Yeah. I think you do the work because you love yourself.

Christine Goforth(20:43.822)
Yes, she does. Because the foundation had everything! same.

Samantha Bauer(20:49.516)
Right? I love this work and I love this time with you, Christine, but here we are again. I know, I know. Well, next time we're going to dive into the O in pivot, creating opportunities. So that's going to be a fun conversation. So it's so great to see you and I can't wait till next time. Thank you everyone for joining us. This is Sisters in Law of Attraction. I'm Sam. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

Christine Goforth(21:02.096)
so excited.

Christine Goforth(21:06.776)
You too! Me too!

Christine Goforth(21:13.922)
And I'm Christine.